what monster?

i don't really think there's a monster

under my bed.

i don't think there's actually a monster

in the closet.

if there truly was,

i would have heard him,

for i'm quite certain monsters

must breathe rather loud.

what's more,

he probably wouldn't fit in the closet

and i'm nearly positive

he wouldn't fit under the bed,

for monsters are much too big.

if there were a monster hiding

he would probably have bright blue fur

and horrible green eyes,

neither of which i've seen any evidence of.

his teeth would be large and sharp

and his giant hands or paws or feet

would be tipped with cutting claws.

i'm sure he'd have a tail,

whether long and thin

or short and fat,

with spikes all the way down his back.

the monster would be called

a thuskerdug,

or a huddlegorp,

or even a malgerthopper,

but i've never heard of any such one.

yes, if there really were a monster there

i would have seen him,

i'm sure i would know if he's here.

 

what's that?

you say you've seen him?

and his name is carl?

 

drat.