Destructive Thinking

Dear Reader, 

There is always that thought process that attracts non wishful thinking; That question that you want answered or that action that you want to see made a reality, whether its your actions or the actions of others.

You see, when that thought process comes up, it is truly hard to get out of that way of thinking. 

Why is it that I am not good enough to receive your warmth? To behold your wisdom? To clash with your stubbornness? Why can I not receive a simple 'yes' or a 'no?' Am I truly not good enough for something so simple? A request that can easily be granted...why must you see me in torment and watch me live these disdain days in this burning dystopia?

When 110% isn't good enough for someone else, it is hard to think that everything you do is good enough for yourself. Reader, I know this must sound crazy to you but I truly feel this way. I often doubt my basic needs to commit to myself. All I want to do is to make you, my Muse, happy. And knowing that I can't do that, knowing that everything I have done isn't good enough...destroys me. 

I would drop anything and everything just to come to your aid...Even if it meant abandoning my life...would you do the same?