A Person to Talk to

Dear Reader,

I'm not entirely sure who you are or what brought you here but I shall refer to you as the Reader. I know...what a cliche and condensing way to idolize you; personify, if you will. Either way that is what you shall be for the duration of these 'blogs.' 

I have found someone to talk to. Someone I can truly trust. It was an odd feeling. I was insanely scared at first thinking that I might be judged, be hurt, be made a joke or another statistic...but she listens nonetheless. She answers and she gives great advise. 

At vital times it was hard to open up, which seems usual. With time it was only natural to become less guarded and more intuitive. Very touchy subjects were breached...I felt like I will soon give my life story and she will know all there is to know about me. Such a scary thought...In just one second she could turn my whole world upside down and crush it.

I have found hope, when there was non to be searched for. I have courageously looked for a missing link in my life and I feel like I have found it, knowing there are many more to look for or even some to be forged and reforged. In the end the gap may not be filled and this may not seal the cracks but for now it is helping. Just know that I am doing better.

I have learned not to look at the past or the future. Looking at the past brings depression and guilt. Looking into the future brings only anxiety and fear. I am focusing on the here and now. Learning to control the one thing I have control over, Me. I still can't help my minds need to wonder, come to think of it I don't know if anyone can. And at times thoughts do create a rush. I want these thoughts to be controlled and care-woven. Very controlled and cautious...and care-woven.

Every second can change and no two are alike.