Story of True Love

I hope this will blow everyone away, it usually does when i let someone read it. Please Comment and rate this poem...its the best one i have ever wrote and its by far my favorite and hopefully yours...I'm only 21 and when i wrote this poem i was just 17 y

There once was a boy.
Destined to find his one true love.
He wanted the perfect girl.
One who was sent from above.

He kept on looking everyday.
And he had a few on his mind.
But it was that one special girl.
That he really wanted to find.

Then one day at school.
He was walking through the hall.
And as he looked up.
It was his one special girl he had saw.

He made eye contact with her.
And she gave him a smile.
He had no idea...
That they would meet in a while.

He tried to think of ways to meet her.
And what he would say.
He had no idea...
That she was thinking the same way.

Then that special day came.
That he had been waiting for.
He met her at a basketball game.
And there was nothing he had wanted more.

They hit it off from the start.
Flirting the whole time.
He really knew in his heart.
That she was truly one of a kind.

Soon after they met.
They got together.
They were so much alike.
And wanted it to last forever.

Then this one special night came.
When she caught him by surprise.
She told him she loved him.
As she looked into his eyes.

The boy was so happy.
He couldn't believe she felt the same way.
"I love you too".
Was all that he could say.

When they were together.
Nothing else mattered.
He had no idea...
His heart was soon to be shattered.

He learned she had been talking to another guy.
And flirting with him behind his back.
So he broke up with her.
And happiness is what he would forever lack.

He tried so hard to hold her tight.
And never let her go.
But for all that hard work.
He had nothing left to show.

She told him she didn't like him anymore.
And that she liked the other guy.
All the boy had running through his mind.
Was that one question, why?

He had so many questions left unanswered.
And didn't know what else to do.
How could she break his heart.
When she was the first to say, "I love you".

Time and time had passed.
And the boy was still not over her.
He finally knew what to do.
And that was for sure.

He would end his life.
The bullet pierced straight through his heart.
It didn't hurt him so bad.
Because it was already torn apart.

That night the girls phone rang.
Then she got the bad news.
The boy took his own life.
The one she had abused.

The girl sat in her room.
Thinking about what she had done.
It didn't take her long to realize.
That he was really the one.

He did everything for her.
And he was there for her when she was down.
As she opened the purse he gave back to her.
There was a letter, she had found.

"Dear one true love.
I hope your happy with the choice you made.
My heart is so torn apart.
You know the one you had played.

I said I will always love you.
My words always stay so true.
Your not the same girl anymore.
The one I thought I knew.

Don't worry my heart will weep for you.
While I'm watching over you from up above.
No matter how bad you have hurt me.
You are still my one true love."

The girls tears fell on the floor into a puddle.
As she sat there crying on her knees.
She sat there crying for hours.
Screaming why did this happen to me.

She really still loved him.
But she hid her true feelings from the world.
She thought they would be back together someday.
What a poor little girl.

So she spent the rest of her life single.
Saving herself until she could see him again.
Her words were really true.
Like when she said she'd love him until the end.

Then her day came after she grew so old.
She was happy to find out.
That he really waited for her.
And walking through Heavens Gate, his hand...
She would tightly hold.

Author's Note

Please Comment and rate this poem...its the best one i have ever wrote and its by far my favorite and hopefully yours...I'm only 21 and when i wrote this poem i was just 17 years old. Thank you!

Reviews

[Theresa]

This is sweet yet a bit depressing at the same time. The line:
"Then this one special night came.
When she caught him by surprise.
She told him she loved him.
As she looked into his eyes."
I actually got a little choked up here because it reminded me of the first time I heard those words spoken to me. It's an amazing feeling and something you never forget. You captured it perfectly in that verse. Then the story you create within this poem turns completely around, it takes you off guard. It's something you don't expect which helps keep the readers attention. The ending is sweet in that he waited for her and was there to greet her. It's still sad though I don't think a girl or anything for that matter is worth taking your life even if it was your one true love. Cherish the memories you had and hold on to them tight and be grateful for the time you did get to spend together. Other then that it is well written and captures the essence of a true love and not only shows the love and happiness, but the emotional baggage that comes along as well. Nicely done. I will keep reading your work if you keep writing. Thanks for sharing.

[Jessica J]

Very good...clear and disturbing. I had trouble not re-reading this and it was even more disturbing the second time through. This piece was riveting. Thanks for asking me to read it...and thanks for the review. Keep it up, it seems things always get better with age.

[Ferg]

Nicely written and definitely much more insightful than your average 17yr old. I will read more of your work. Thank you.

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

A truly moving tale. Well written and captivating. Thank you for sharing your talent.
Light,
Siddartha

[Quaddeth]

I like it, its simplistic yet well thought out. It is of a good length, I think to improve you could take out a few full stops as it seems to be a tad distorted when reading, where as a continuous flow would seem more approriate, ignore me if you want though Haha. Keep up the good work.

[*Evelen*]

Thumbs up! Good job! It's such a beautiful poem. I liked it a lot. It really made me think. I could totally tell that there's a lot of emotion in this poem. Thanks for sharing!

[Georgia Gypsy]

great heartfelt piece of writing here!....
you have reached into your soul and poured it all out for the world to see...
will read more of your work...:)

[CircusNerd]

wow. this is...just wow O_O this is so beautiful, and i've heard this story over and over but i think i just made a real connection to this telling of it. thanks for the great write.

[baybay]

wow this is so beautiful i wish my bf was as sensitive as you seem to be this almost made me cry because it reach in to my heart grabed my soul and touched my life as if it was never touched b4 idk wat that means i just know you have a real talent and this is soooo beautiful you have found your calling,
much love, Jamie