love II

However will I say "I love you", again?

Words that render me mute, terrified

Falling into the memory of you as if you were a black hole

Balled up in the corner, lights off, clutching the wall for comfort

 

I say “I love you” in my head, just to test the waters

Tears teasingly prickle my eyes, my nose; threaten the downpour

Before, mouth twitching dangerously I have to think of the dark s**t

Sending the emotion deep, back, back inside the cavern

 

Can you fear an emotion?

An emotion you once embraced, danced with, painted canvasses with?

Wrote songs and poems and letters about? Travelled the world with? Dreamed with?

Can that same all consuming, all engrossing, superlative feeling of hope and marvel and eternity

Be the same one you now run from as though your life would end if you so much as touched it?

 

So I wonder will I ever say it again.

And if I do, when?

And if I do, how?

And if I do, will it be to you?

Reviews

[R.E. Ray]

This poem speaks well to vulnerability and the consequences of making ourselves to vulnerable to those who later deceive, take advantage, or leave us. It's the essence of intimacy, and when it's violated, we pull back into ourselves ("balled up in the corner" and "back inside the cavern"), to recover and protect ourselves.

Your questions cleverly hit all the emotions we usually experience under these circumstances, and it's what we do as we search for hope, hope we will find the strength to emerge from the "cavern" and love again.

I like the imagery and emotion conveyed in this poem. It all works well. Nice piece!

[ashkat]

always appreciate your commentary... thank you x

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i spent 20 years wondering this after my first divorce...you described my state of heart to a tee.
so many questions that often remain less than clearly answered in the end.

[ashkat]

Thank you! I'm flattered for your positive comments and grateful for feedback!