Statement of Dissatisfaction or Conveyance of Distasteful Emotions?

Emotions out of pain are too powerful sometimes..

 Statement of Dissatisfaction or Conveyance of Distasteful Emotions?

           

I had never thought of giving voice to certain thoughts, about you, budded from within me, over all these years. Moreover, I have never known that my brain could make my thoughts gallop through a bridleway, which I never wished for, till this moment. Because, I am incomplete without you; without your warmth, without the energy you give me, without your Touch that makes me alive. I am a Part of you. There is no me without you.  Even from my birth or when I started to believe I too have Life within me, it has been all about you. Moving around you seeing all your Sides (as if I am born for that), wondering at your might, your Godly benevolence, knowing you in every sense though you never let me come to you. You have always kept me at a distance though you have a pull over me. But I know you have always cared for me. And that very reason makes me still respect you and live under your shade, though Time made me realize that I am not the only one whom you care for or who yearn for your love.

   Years passed like busy Comets and still I stand near you perceiving all your Changes. I began to change myself to accommodate your changes and it is burning Inside. I taught our kids to condone everything you have done. What mother would pain her kids this much! But now, when I brood over those changes, it pains. My very existence and even my kids catechize me for eating meaningless pain for you. They no more believe that I am your beloved. They even make fun of me by calling me the symbol of Forbearance. I want to know why you do all these. Is it to show off your Might or a way of expressing your Anger? Or you just want to claim like some Others who say "I am different and I have my own ways." Whatever known or unknown answers you have, let me let you know that I am running out of my time though I never want to leave without you. There would not be one of your charming beauties to praise you if you go on like this. Hence please lighten your Mighty Flames to gauge you calefaction  Lord Apollo, My Beloved or in the words of the rustic............ Shut your f*****g heat you moron!!!