Realization

It's about me, how I realized this heartbreak didn't mean it was the end of the world.

I no longer stay up at three in the morning wondering why I wasn't good enough. I no longer wish to know why you left. You dragged me through hell and back, but silly me, I called that love because you were still holding my hand. You made me feel worthless at times, made me feel like I was nothing. I use to always blame myself when we argued, I thought I always did something wrong. I was down for you, I was there when your family started acting different towards you. I supported your dreams when no one else would. You didn't understand that I would have done everything and anything for you. All those late night talks, I use to motivate you everyday. I was loosing sleep trying to make you into a better person. While I was giving you my everything I didn't realize I was being left with absolutely nothing. But now you lost me, and I will never go back to you. I have said that to you and to myself countless times but neither you or me thought it would ever be true. The year started off great, you were by my side and everything seemed good. Until you started loosing feelings, and started hurting me. I didn't know what was going on with you, I thought it was something you just didn't want to talk about with me. Even though my mind told me you were not in love anymore I decided to listen to my heart, yeah real cliche. I stood by your side, because I promised I would, you wouldn't know about keeping promises though since you would always break them. I thought I made you smile, I thought I made you happy. I guess I was wrong, maybe at some point in time I did but only you know that. After you broke up with me, the time flew and I decided maybe I was ready to date again. But everytime I was with him, I would think of you. Everytime he kissed me I would close my eyes and think it was you. It felt wrong, it felt like I was doing him wrong. I tried to find a little bit of you in him and that's how it was with every person I met. You destroyed me passed my breaking point, you knocked me down and stepped all over me. Countless nights I was up, I couldn't sleep. Sleep was the last thing on my mind, I would eventually fall asleep because my eyes were puffy of all the crying I did. You know, I actually meant the words I said to you, but did you? Everytime you told me you loved me it felt so forced. It's like those words had no feeling or meaning behind it. Now I sit here wondering if you really did love me, if you really did think my eyes shined brighter than the stars, if my smile cheered you up. I couldn't see the type of person you were, or maybe I could but I just didn't want to let you because I was afraid of being alone again. The day you let me go I didn't know what to do with myself because I only lived for you and I didn't know how to live without you, you didn't teach me that. Man, I thought I would never get over a heart break like this, but damn I was wrong. You should look at me now, I am happy and show no signs of ever being hurt. I learned to love myself and know my self worth, I realized that was a toxic relationship and I promised myself to never fall that low again.

Reviews

[Vic]

Very emotional, good expression. It would be easier to read if it was broken into smaller paragraphs.

[Ana]

Thank​ you and will do next time for my future material