lost and found

"so did it hurt?"
It was our usual spot, for the past 5 months to be exact, we have been meeting here, at this bridge. we stand overlooking the great river, not even the endless sounds of vehicles disturb us.
I ask again "did it hurt?".
he takes a measured breath before replying..
"What do you think Vini?"
"Do you always have to reply with question, why can't you give me a straight answer". I glare at him while I try to control my irritation of course it doesn't help when he is smiling like fool. a beautiful fool.. the familiar tug is back. i cannot stay upset at him.
he smiles some more and he abruptly turns serious..I fight to urge to take back the question and set the mood as it was before but we might as well get this over with.
I watched him as his expression grew thoughtful, he looked into my eyes and I regretted my actions immediately, his were filled with loss, sadness of losing something special, like a part of you. I knew the feeling very well but right now it's about him not me.
he took a deep breath, and he spoke, "I loved her, she was...she was  everything, her calls, her cute messages, her sweet smile.. before her..", he stopped mid sentence  and I looked away; somehow it felt private, like I was witnessing some stranger talking. but wasn't Varun, a stranger? how long have I known him? 5 months? 

5 months ago
Two strangers on the bridge, one staring off into space while the other making a decision as each second passes a resolve is strengthened, the stranger climbs the railings of the bridge and stare at the water with fear and something else.. expectation of release??
"you know it won't solve anything ".
she was about to jump but that voice caught her attention and she nervously glanced at the boy standing a little far away,  she hadn't noticed him, how come? had he been there all the while.. oh well who cares its going end anyway..

"doesn't matter", she whispered and stared down at the water again..
 "whats that" he spoke aloud and walked closer.. Vinita wondered why on earth was the guy even bothering , she thought rationally for a second.. ah maybe he thinks he's a suspect or something, once I am gone people wonder  how can a cheerful and optimistic girl kill herself like that.it cannot be a suicide. she smiled at the thoughts she was having.
"my name is Varun." she turned and noticed how close his voice sounded she blinked in surprise, he was cute but not as cute as...never mind..
"the police won't suspect you don't worry"
" the police? how does the police .." he trailed off, and as if hit by a realization he yelled holy crap you are some mafia's girl right"
despite of herself she laughed and laughed hard after a few moments another laugh joined in and they laughed. the laughter turned to smiles. he helped her off the railings and they both sat down. it was a beautiful evening..

she looked at him and finally said, "that wasn't necessary.. "
"huh" he stole a glance at her trying feign ignorance.
"I wasn't going to do it anyway " she lied
"of course not ..you were just looking at the fishes and wondering how many your mafia boyfriend must have fed with live people" he spoke with a straight face and serious tone she had to laugh, he smiled as well.
"you know you have an infectious laugh"
"thanks so Varun, what do you know apart from saving crazy girls from themselves"
his eye's twinkled and said" I am a doctor"
"oh that explains it, the need to save lives.."she smiled up at him
"and what do you do crazy girl- who- hasn't- introduced- herself?"
"what? oh hahaaha. i am sorry i am Vinita i am a student"
"student huh? what subject?" he asked
"Psychology" she looked at him in the eye as she said it, his expression changed for a second and then he recovered himself and flashed his too bright smile..
"ah crazy girl studies crazy stuff" he was pulling her leg and trying to lighten the mood and it worked she laughed.and they spoke, they talked for what felt like hours, talking about everything and anything. she noticed the stars and checked her watch and gasped " oh my god is that the time? I am so screwed", he stood up with his hands crossed over his chest and enjoyed her little performance as she gathered her bag and searched for her keys she was a pretty thing, and her face not something you saw everyday so many expressions, he smiled at the nature of their meeting.

"Varun don't just stand there help me I can't find my bike key? "
he laughed and walked over to where she was bending and lightly tapped on her shoulder. she glared at him  and her expression changed so quickly to relief when she saw him jingling her keys. she grabbed them and ran off he stared after her.  suddenly she stopped and ran back to him
" hey.. umm.." she gasped.
he noticed her hesitation, how pink her cheeks looked and wondered what was on her mind.. she walked up to him she was close enough for him to be aware of her perfume, she tipped on her toes and whispered in his ears" thanks for saving my life". a shiver ran through him, she was too close and then she kissed him on his cheek and ran off again and he stood staring in shock as he felt the imprint of her lips.. she was long gone..

he stood there staring at the water.. he couldn't believe it after such a long time he felt something, something so pure. he didn't think he could feel especially after Aria's death. his fiance died in a freak accident last year.. funny how the evening turned out.. he came here with a resolve to end his life, he tried to forget her,  he drowned himself in work. but today on her death anniversary he couldn't take it anymore. he made a resolve to end this pain when all of sudden his eyes darted towards her..her eyes; those dark eyes which looked so sad he didn't know what made him say that but now he was glad..Vinita... Vini..

present

"before her, my life was incomplete..she made me ..." he stopped overcome with emotion he tried to control himself
..".. happy" I completed his sentence we smiled at each other, everything was fine now he was fine, that's all that matters I thought. he walked up to me and took me in his arms I snuggled closer to him.
"I never thought I could feel like that before you know.." I smiled against him. he continued," you remember the first time we met"..
"hmm yea" I mumbled he feels so warm , so good.
"I planned to jump too you know"
 what?? I abruptly withdrew from his arms and stared at him horrified at the very thought but I controlled myself and asked " what changed your mind?'' I tried my best to keep the tremble out of my voice but failed miserably..

his eyes softened and he smiled, "You" and he pulled me against him and kissed me with such need. I gasped but that didn't stop me from I responding with the same intensity.. we stood there locked in each others embrace...
Life is funny that way..I know he 's not a replacement to my past nor am I his, but somehow we lost ourselves to eventually find each other.