Ashes in Las Vegas

Had that obligatory last meal with my grandparents before they scurried back to

Croatia, tails tucked between their legs. They’ll spend the next year hiding out in her

coast’s curves then blame us for “being distant.” My grandfather antagonistically talked over his wife the whole time in a fruitless attempt to dole out some 70+ years of accumulated wisdom. He must have gone flailing through life with a broken net, because  all he actually ended up teaching me is that he has a remarkable passion for redundancy.

I mean, the poor man must have said, “write everything down or you’ll forget and be

a s**t novelist,” while wagging his metaphysical finger at least five times before conceding to a response.

That’s not to say I didn’t try and interrupt; I did, to no avail. Because all he really

heard spewing from his own olive oil slicked lips was proof that he still had something

left to say, something left to offer this world as he prepared to pass through it. 

All I wanted was to meet up with Jake and spend the evening driving until it got so dark, the streetlights were the only things we could be sure existed. Instead, I shut my mouth and waited until he was done to say, “Wow, that's good advice.”

He nodded, the lower half of his face disappearing into the folds of his neck and back

again. I couldn’t help but picture a toad in a peacoat and crown, looking accomplished

as the water around him begins boiling.

My grandmother watched in silence, the war long over. Her husband’s baritone had suffocated each

conversation she ignited over the years until she had nothing left to do but drink and smoke cigarettes out on the veranda.

My grandparents only spend about two weeks every few years in the United States. Out of these,

at least five days are spent in Las Vegas, Nevada, far from the family they're supposed to be visiting.

They have a sick enthusiasm for Vegas. When I asked what it was, exactly, that they did there, my grandma started to say something before being interrupted by her husband who found a few ways to explain they basically like to walk

around and gamble a little.

This evening in particular, they had just returned from one of those trips and my

grandfather was looking morosely at his bowl of soup when he told me he hated

America.

He said, ”We got stuck walking behind these two gigantic asses all tattooed and

sipping some meter-long bright blue iced drinks. It was disgusting. I could never live

here.”

My grandmother excused herself for a cigarette. I remembered how she chain-

smoked when I was young and how I used to think the ash from all her cigarettes

constellated in bags below her eyes. But that's not why they hang like innocent men, swinging at dawn.

All of those words, every last word she bit and swallowed down, weighed on her face until no one but her own husband could ever see her as the woman she was. 

Reviews

[quinfinn]

very good write, impressive and well structured. and an engaging piece.

[Alexander Rodgers]

Finally a chapter that is well written and correctly formatted (It's a pet peeve of mine and I see it wrong on here all the time!) Very well done :)

[Ken Simm.]

Again a very visual piece of writing. Filmic, the stroyboard laid out so well. I would imagine a lot of people could empathise with this whatever their antecedents.
A remarkable piece of writing. I am very impressed.

[KAin]

An elegant piece of writing. You have a good grasp of imagery and metaphor...
The word 'doll' in line 4 confused me. Did you mean 'dole' or did you have something else in mind when you used that word?
Your characters are briefly stated, but I feel like you gave me everything I need to understand them. Well done!

[anamezic]

Yes my mistake, it was a spelling error.

[KAin]

Ah, okay. This piece is extremely well done. Keep it up!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

A sad piece. As people grow old some do tend to fear death and hang on to their longevity. Don't make my mistake though. I never paid enough attention to my parents when I left home and regret it.

[Ravyne Hawke]

Wow! This totally blew me away. For a personal non-fiction piece, you have some of the best imagery I have seen in a long time. This line...

I couldn’t help but picture a toad in a peacoat and crown, looking accomplished
as the water around him begins boiling.

was a wonderful image. I could perfectly picture it and even had a bit of a chuckle.

The last paragraph put me completely in awe. Your description is strikingly good and written so that it can be seen perfectly. The sadness and the dismay is captured beautifully.

I so rarely read something that I think is beyond well done with no words to describe it. You've given me that here. I shall place this in my library and enjoy it over and over again. Thank you!

[John Lauterbach]

I just visited Las Vegas and the Grand Canyon a week ago. The canyon was way nicer.

I had a laugh at the grandfather's last line about the meter-long drinks and tattooed people - they're everywhere out there. There were a few grim chuckles throughout, really; at the low opinion toward the grandfather and what an obscene character he is - all the little jabs at him. I felt bad for the grandmother and what she needed to deal with. It felt like she was jailed in the last years of her life, unless he died first.

I love that you used the word 'doll,' I never see that one. (Unless it's doll, like Barbie and Ken, but that's way different.) And I love the entire third paragraph, especially the olive-oil lips. Awesome, grotesque image.