Foreword

Intro to Untitled

Outside of my writings I feel I reflect a carelessness and ease of life that would make some who know me personally, surprised at this content you are preparing to delve into. I first started writing what I thought would be my life story in high school around the age of 16. By 19 I had a bit over thirty pages of what seemed like just journal entries of me rambling about random hookups and a disgruntled past, but I started to see parallels and I realized, that not only was I writing to an audience, but I was writing to myself, a guidebook of who I truly was and what the person I would become would need to refer back to, not only for reassurance and validation but for truth, the truths that become clouded when you’re just existing. The lines throughout this book that are bolded and/or italicized are me reflecting and as I said, reassuring and validating my truth. I will always go back to me and love me as the first who was ever compassionate enough to love me and to spend time with me as I was and now, as I am.

            I was born in Trenton, New Jersey to Puerto Rico born, American raised parents. I have four siblings, one older sister with a different father, a younger sister from a different mother and my youngest brother who shares both parents with me. By the time I started making memories my life was secure enough that the dynamic my parents held was not yet discovered to me and the most I knew growing up, for a while, was that they disliked one another and that they weren’t together. I won’t get into the details of what I know now of their history because that is their story to tell. What I have grown to know though, is that my mother always raised me completely selflessly and my father always seemed to be searching for validation of himself as a person through the things he did and through the things me and my siblings from him did. Ever since the time after I hit puberty me and my father’s relationship has been broken and I feel it will always be that way, with no one to blame, but with the thought in mind that we have different ideas of what a loving relationship entails.

            In short, this snapshot of my life covers a transitional period with its climactic peak of disillusion being during my college days and with contentment landing around the time I had finally freed myself from the father of my son, towards the end of my first pregnancy at 22. Told through journal entries and poems I feel that this is an easy read, with not everything spelled out, but relatable in an emotional way. For those who have thought they were too much, for those who have been confused about their past and future, for those who have loved and lost, for those who have questioned their sanity with no one to turn to, I hope you see yourself in these words and with that know that you were not alone…you will always have you.