An Open Letter

An Open Letter To My Ex:

AN OPEN LETTER

Dear egotistical a*****e, 

Look at that! All this time passes and my opinion on you still hasn’t changed. How does it feel to be a terrible terrible human being? Now that you’re not in my life (frankly, I couldn’t be happier now) I can see all the s**t you put me through from an outside perspective. I always secretly knew that you were just another guy. I just let my feelings blind me. Every day that passed, I could feel the tension and anger toward you growing stronger, I was just so weak I couldn’t let go. I never understood why I clung so tightly. There were days when all I could think about was leaving you, why I never did is beyond me. Maybe it was the way you looked at me, no secret I had a weakness for your eyes. You always looked at me with such intent, like you always were studying me. Maybe that’s why I was always nervous. 

The problem wasn’t that I didn’t feel I was good enough for you, It was the mere fact that you knew I was.. so you beat me down until you felt you had the upper hand. You always treated me like I was second to you. There’s no secret you’re intelligent. You may be book smart, but you aren’t people smart. Intelligence will take you far in life, but no amount of degrees you get will make up for your lack of respect towards others. There are some things in life that are strictly based off of emotions, feelings and faith. Three things, you seem to lack. 

You told me you saw something new in my eyes every time you saw them. You always told me I was beautiful, that I amazed you everyday. I have no idea how much of that is true, but just for my own sake I’m going to believe it. You gave me every reason to not believe you, but I’ve come to terms with my feelings. I can confidently tell myself, no matter how it looks from my side, I am immensely better without you. Thank you for teaching me countless lessons and for making me feel amazing, even though you’re still the one person in the world that makes me grit my teeth while I smile. How you do it, I’ll never know. I just wanted you to know, you’re horrible and I’m blessed that we ended. Good luck in life and I hope you know this is about you.

-a.n