Time Flys, Bye

She enters the room and begins to walk down the stairs

Those dresses less beautiful then her hald their conversations to drop their jaw

Though random stares are looked at her she ignored them without a care

Looking for her true love passing random people as she exits, no 1 knows what they really saw

 

Exits then enters the beautiful dreamy star lit out doors

Colorful magic danced before her very eyes

Her beautiful long puffy dress is dragged along the outside's floor

She sees her prince standing waiting to her surprise

 

At first glance they became in a sudden trance

Twirling, dancing in the cold fall night

They become lost in the moment, like a scene from a movie in France

Beautiful and romantic lights begin shining off her dress making everything bright

 

She'd become so lost she hadn't heard the first ding

The light suddenly began to fade away, throwing her back into reality

She soon began to realize it was the bell's ring

Her dream now was coming to an end but couldnt stand that being a possibility

 

The clock rang again she clutched tighter for one last time

One last glance is what she gave before running away

Loss hope entered her mind, telling herself "he'll never be mine"

Her shoe fell off as she ran faster leaving him without anything to say

 

Loud music and bells playing is all she could her re-entering the ball

Running faster past everyone who took now no notice to her

The running came to a sudden halt when she began to fall

Sick and twisted fate had come into play for this poor girl

 

No happy ending sat waiting for her at the end of this cold dreamy night

Nothing more then taking form back to her normal life

 

 

 

Reviews

[Dillon Cotter]

this is enjoyable, a story to myself but it's well written and done. good work.

-Will

[melissa]

loved it!

[Silvario]

cindarelli! cindarelli!
i loved this poem. im more a story guy myself and when i come across a poem that speaks mor ein story form i get sucked right in. especially when its as well written as this was. i loved what you did with the ending as well. well done. :)

[Taylor H]

this sounds more like a story then anything

[poetic soul]

loved everything about this poem... the picture.. the colour... the words... the rhyme... the concept and the flow with brilliant articulation... :)

Regards,
Poetic Soul

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

A great take on the classic Cinderella story but showing that life doesn't always have a fairytale ending... I really love how you wove the story into a beautifully flowing poem. Time flies when you fantasize and goes way to slow when reality strikes.

[Violet Rose]

Mmmm "Time Flies, Bye" ?

"less beautiful than her"

"though random stares are looked at her" < not quite sure what this is, but I'm sure it had lovely intent. And put a comma at the end of it to separate the apositive/separate clause

"Her beautiful long puffy dress" That's four adjectives. Maybe you could separate them, as a list in this form could be a little much to chew at once.

star lit is actually one word, as is "moonlit". Lovely words fitting for a poem laced with the frills of romance, in my opinion

"At first glance they became in a sudden trance" I don't know if you intended it to be "At fist glanced they were suddenly tranced" but in this context it sounds like they finally became whole when they were tranced by one anothers' eyes. So I don't think you should change it :)

And now my mother beckons me, so I'll finish reviewing in . . . sometime. But I like it so far :)

[Rose Kavanagh]

Great job! The color and font caught my attention and made me keep reading- I didn't regret it! The rhyme scheme was lovely and you painted a picture in my head.
Again, great work and have a wonderful new year! =)