Winter Silence

11 January 2017

There’s a cruel, anxious feeling

when silence is my only company.

I don’t know where my thoughts will wander to.

Fearful they’ll never just come to a s-t-o-p.

I don’t know what vibes I’ll give off to the world around me.

I try to memorize the lines that provide me meaning

to my daily life.

I smile to convince myself that life isn’t so bad.

If i can just accept that.

Silence,

I’ve drowned you out with stress

with lovers,

almost lovers,

with laughs,

with cries for help.

But when the storm calms,

I’m here. 

You’re here,

and I haven’t reached that peace of mind

where I’m not trying to piece my shattered mind

together, 

to seem all together.

Silence, 

you’re still and unmoving.

And to others,

that may sound like the greatest thing.

Just not for me yet,

you’re not my best friend.