The Blackout (Shortage of)

Friday morning wake up. September 2015.

To call upon you creates doubt.
Disbelief.
That maybe it was meant to work out this way.
That years of ignoring your Name was what made the most sense.
...how the world spun on its own, untouched.
...how the people roamed aimlessly without playing good versus evil.
...how empty words of nightly prayers produced empty actions,
unseen at the surface.
That maybe Mother Nature was doing what she did best...
natural causes.
natural effects.
natural side effects.
...until I was on my death bed.
Then, that's when it didn't make sense in my head.
To come all this way to produce 110% and be given less of what you expect(-ed).
As though I were resigning without my own consent.
At that moment,
I gave up my sympathies to those who needed it more than me.
I saw in the mirror only what I allowed my mind to perceive.
So I can continue to roam (ignorantly) with Your voice
and (voluntarily) with every line of philosophy,
guiding and shielding me,
against my own twisted and fabricated monsters of life.
...until I accept my death.
...until I accept that I'm solely an individual,
who can only produce as much as the next.
Until then, I will (still) carry my strongest beliefs of being f*****g invincible.

Author's Note

...I wasn't really on my death bed. I was on a bed and felt like death. And, that's as far as that went. Sort of. :)

Reviews

[alifeacoustic]

That last line jumped up, slapped me on the head, stuck it's tongue out at me and smiled. Brilliant. Now that is what I call a punch line. Up until that I was feeling the regret and sorrow in your words, which grew brilliantly defiant. Love it. Thank you for sharing.