Letting Go

he is poison

Do you want to know what hurts me the most? The fact that I can pinpoint the exact moment I lost you. I was laughing with some other boy that I had history with but of course I thought nothing of it, it was all dead and buried by then. I looked over at you and I could see in your eyes that you couldn't take it anymore. I panicked and text you right away. You didn't answer. I text you and called you more times than I care to admit that day. I knew I’d lost you then. You ignored me for weeks after that until you finally decided I wasn't what you wanted anymore. I know it was my fault and I would do anything to change that one day. I would give my whole life just to be able to go back to that day to tell you that I adored you.

You changed after that. I don’t know if I was just blinded by my love for you before or if something really had changed in you. I suppose it doesn't matter much now because not too long ago you let the drugs take over your heart until it started to rot away. You let that poison seep into your veins so that you didn't have to feel pain. The only problem is that when you took away the pain from yourself you ended up passing it on to all of those that care for and love you. When you took away all that pain you also took away the slightest bit of happiness you may have felt before. You have ruined yourself and you’ll never be able to feel real love now. You’ll never know what it’s like to adore someone so much you feel that to be with them is your only purpose. You’ll never understand the person that loves you with all of their heart despite the mess you know you've made of yourself. I’m just glad that person doesn't have to be me anymore. 

Author's Note

I don't really know what to think of this, I just wrote it and thought I should share it to get other people's opinions on my writing style and whether this is any good or not as I'm not too sure myself. I'm also not too sure if this even fits under the category of poem but I wasn't sure what else to class it as.