My life is: The road to nowhere

Random thoughts

 

Dear You,

This is the day when I saw you last.

For the very last time.

That was exactly three years back.

 

Every day, since then has been difficult to go through.

 

Every year since then, I’ve found it difficult to go through this day.

 

I have tried to re-create those circumstances again and again for the last three years. I have worn the same clothes, gone to the same places and walked through the same streets – just to be able to feel closer to that day. Yes, everything …most things, that is, have remained the same. Except for the fact that you are missing.

 

We wanted to spend as much time as possible with each other that day because you had to leave in the evening and we didn’t know when we could have each others company again. I was very sad when you’d left but at least I had hoped that we will meet again. Today, there is no hope.

 

I’m just not finding it possible to continue with my life. I hate what is left of it. I hate it enough to want to end it.

 

I have too many memories of you. Too many to be happy again.

A friend had once remarked that – it’s important to have good memories in life.

She was so right. Perhaps, these memories are what I’m living for.

 

After you, I have tried to continue the journey but I have no destination now. My life is the road to nowhere. The days and nights are meaningless. I’m completely lost without you.

 

And yet, I don’t want you to come back. You have a life of your own after all. I want you to be happy and I understand that if I really mean it; then your happiness must not include me.

 

You deserve the best things in life. May they all be yours.

 

All my love,

Me.

 

Author's Note

:-(

Reviews

[Ladysue]

Oh wow, this is hard stuff. Letting go is so painful and remembering how things once were makes it so much harder, and yet I know what you mean when you say.."I don't want you to come back"...things can never be they way they were. we only have our memories to cherish those wonderful moments and the lingering sadness that follows. A very emotional and touching write.

[William]

This is heartbreaking. So real, so sutnningly painful.

[Ruth]

That loss is always so hard to voice, this is a beautifully, haunting poem!
xx

[C. Harter Amos]

You've done a great job of explaining how it feels when you've lost someone who has become more than just a love but a part of you. It's hard. It's so much pain. It's somehow never really completely over even after years of trying to heal, but we keep going mostly; one foot in front of the other until we find a reason to smile again. You've made me walk through memories of my own that were and are filled with tears and the feeling of emptiness, loneliness, and my life meaning nothing. So very heartsick and joyless and so very well said. Like I said, you really captured the feelings. A very hard read, but a deep one. Thank you for sharing.

[Pratibha]

I did not know that I would be reading such a sad post...
You are such a strong person, i must say ...
you love her more than your own self because now her happiness matters to you the most....very few people are able to do it, and you are one of them...

[Miss Prince]

Sadness. :(
But I love it. It's raw and emotional and personal. It still has a global aspect though, because I know about 8 people who can relate to this, including me. I'm very moved by this piece. Wonderfully written.

[** LIVE LOVE **]

Gosh, you have written about the place I was for so long. We spent 3 years together, soulmates..I thought. And then as you have so beautifully described the pain we go through when trying not to look back at old memories, causing deep pain, it helps me know I am not alone. LOL, I'm learning slowly from old memories and in the Near Year; looking for new ways to live my life with a stronger deeper connection with myself and my God to learn how to love this harsh world. I hope your heart is warm knowing that all the reviews here care and want you to know you still shine so brightly...even without "him". Chris**

[Samuel Dickens]

If this piece is true, I commend you for mature strength and honesty. I thought the person you spoke of was gone, as in really gone, so I was a little surprised at the end and also relieved. You have a smooth, natural style of writing that's very easy to read and understand--I like it. You're in you twenties? Impressive.

[Bhavya Kaushik]

This is beautiful...
But how have I missed it?
I mean just today, I was going through your page and I found this one. Next time please do send me a read request of your each and every piece of writing that you add. I feel so strong for your work that I can leave anything to just sit and read them again and again, since I find them so close to myself.
This is again so beautifully sad, seems like you were so much in love with your pain and sorrow but at the same time you wanted to break free when you wrote this....I can feel that sense of emotions in it.

This is what makes first love so special, First love is the love that clings to your heart forever, no matter how much pain it has caused, no matter how many tears have fallen; first love will never leave your soul...
You will never forget your first love. That's what makes it so special. You love so hard, so deeply, and so intensely because you don't know any difference. It's the best until it is over. Then you hurt like you've never been hurt before. Eventually you love again, but you love differently. You will love more carefully, more cautiously. Just know that there is so much more love waiting for you, but there will always only be one first love.... :)

This is outstanding as always :)