Lifeless

Nothing much. Trying to rhyme the words floating in my head.

 

 

 

 

Pictures of us

Still smiling in my head

Do they not know

That their future is dead

 

Disowned by love

I fade into the dark

My life watches in silence

It has lost its spark

 

Words and emotions

Are all that remain

They soak page after another

To keep me from going insane

 

Pain and sorrow

Reflected in my poetry

I wonder what is ahead

What will be, finally…

 

Author's Note

�What will be, finally ��

Still wondering�

:-|

Reviews

[Alessander]

It's compact and concise, which is good. You deal with some primal symbols, like darkness, silence, sorrow, angst...but maybe you can make the poem more implicit and not explicit? For instance, the first stanza is probably the strongest because you use specific imagery in order to convey the implied feeling - more pathos that way.

The last stanza is the opposite, which is why I think it needs to be reworked - maybe return to the picture/silence/darkness motif?

[Deaths Cold Kiss]

i like this poem very much....... something that I can relate to........ hope you can review some of my work if you would like........

[Tas]

Good Write, thanks for entering.

[Ladysue]

Your words are saying a whole lot. the entire first stanza drew me right in. This line is my favorite and so brilliant really...

Do they not know
That their future is dead

A very absorbing write but beautiful and heartfelt!

[Rain]

I see things a little different. When a writer feel disconnected, or lost...it will reflect in their writing, which makes it real. I liked it. I could tell it was from the heart of someone suffering. Rain..

[poetic soul]

hey... this was a nice poem dear....very nice... :) i liked the flow.... nice choice of words though...

Regards,
Poetic Soul

[coldust]

once a fella told me,"time never goes waste, even time wasted is not a waste of a time".
so what will finally be will be something very constructive and worth the pain n watch!!!

ur poem captures the very essence that underlies the human emotions..kudos

[Bhavya Kaushik]

Wow! This is great�And let me tell you, it is not just "nothing much" because it doesn't seems like random at all�Your words are saying a lot and conveying such a powerful message!
A poet first writes from his heart and then from his hands�.If there's only pain and sorrow present in the heart then how can anyone write about happiness? The same happens with me�
The last line left me numb though! I have no answer for it�

[~angelalala~]

this poem is dark & beautiful. the flow is smooth. i especially like "words and emotions are all that remain they soak page after another to keep me from going insane" there are many who feel that way. very good work.