Through the eyes of a child

I dedicate this to all the women who have silently sacrificed their happiness so that their children could have a life.

 

 

 

 

 

She was only six; unable to comprehend the situation. But she was trying her best to understand. She'd positioned herself behind the curtain and clinging to it tightly, she tried to overhear their conversation.

 

What were they fighting about? She had never seen her cry. Why was she so upset? And he…? What was he scolding her for…?

 

She could see her sobbing. Her lips moved to say something. But her voice was not audible. Whatever it was that she tried to express, he remained unruffled. Insensitive to her emotions, his sarcastic tongue continued to lash out at her. Finally he got up, gave her a scornful look and started putting on his shoes.

 

Was he leaving for work now?

 

From behind the curtain, she saw her father slam the door and walk out. Her mother buried her face in the wall and started wailing even louder.

 

She came out of her hiding place. Tears were beginning to swell up in her eyes too. With her plump little hands, she wiped them away and pulled at her mother’s dress.

 

The woman who turned around to face her only child had a face that was once beautiful but stress and strain had taken a toll on her health and the obvious signs were beginning to show. Her body was slender and proportionate; to those who asked her how she maintained that figure, she always replied with a smile. If they knew how hard she worked each day –attending to an ailing mother-in-law, bringing up her little daughter and living up to the expectations of her dictator-husband, they would know how she lost those calories that others were so worried about. Her husband was a selfish creature who had no sense of consideration for her. At times she felt like a machine…fulfilling the demands of everyone without having any needs of her own. He wasn’t physically abusive but the mental torture he subjected her to, everyday was as unbearable as physical wounds. Or perhaps worse. He would flare up on the slightest pretext – if his clothes were not ironed, if the food didn’t please his taste buds or even if she was late in answering the phone if he called from work.

 

She had had enough. Today was the day. She had to leave. She would go to her parent’s house and try to find a job. But she knew she wouldn’t be able to take her child, until she found a place of her own. That would take time. Months. Maybe years. Maybe never. What kind of job would help a 36 year old woman with no career or proper qualifications, to bring up a child? Yet she was trying to convince herself to walk out today. Come what may, she had to be strong. She had to break the news to her child. It was painful to get the words out of her mouth. But she did -

 

‘Mamma is leaving, sweetheart’

 

What? Has it come to this? But this happened only in movies. Daddy was strict and treated Mamma poorly. What would happen without Mamma? What would I do…?

 

The child started sobbing loudly now. She clung to her mother the way a dying man clings to life. She could feel her mother’s touch on her head. She looked up with her black eyes brimming with tears and an expression that tore her mother’s heart apart, and asked a single question…a question that changed the course of her life forever. And imprisoned her mother to a lifetime of sorrow.

 

‘What will happen to me, Mamma?’

 

The woman hugged her baby tightly and kissed her forehead. They cried together. Then she picked her up and clutching her small body close to her chest, walked back to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator.

 

‘What would you like to have for lunch, baby?’

 

 

It has been more than two decades since that day. Circumstances made sure that the little girl grew up fast. She tried to be what her mother wanted her to be. Her first priority in life is and was to make her mother happy. There was no change in the behavior of her insensitive father. But her parents hardly ever quarreled again. Perhaps her mother had reconciled to the fact that she had to stay with him for the sake of the child. There was no way out.

 

The little girl in the story often wonders how life would’ve been like had she not interrupted her mother’s thoughts that day. Sometimes, she feels guilty for being the obstacle between her Mamma and her Mamma’s happiness. Perhaps, what makes it worse is the fact that her Mamma never mentioned that incident again, never said that she sacrificed her life so that her daughter could have a proper upbringing - a comfortable life and the best education – things that she couldn’t have afforde, otherwise.

 

This is a story of selflessness.

Selflessness of a mother for her child. At the cost of everything else.

 

Reviews

[Serendipity]

Simply amazing.

OMG I have tears in my eyes and a huge knot in my throat.

This story is so painful. And how true, we sacrifice so much for our children. We want them to have everything we couldn't have. We want them to have the best life in the world. And if that means sacrificing our happiness, so be it. Our children are worth any and every sacrafice. They should never feel guilty of what we do for them.

[Amy Whetzell]

That was beautiful, and sad at the same time. But its true; any mother, myself included, will go to any lenths for a child's happiness. Its not the child's fault; why should little ones have to pay the cost? Thank you for sharing that.

[Adela Muresan]

It's a sad story with a happy ending.

The happiness of a mother lies in the eyes of her child, and you reflected that in your story beautifully.

Good write.

A.M.

P.S.:The father doesn't fit in the lovely family portrait � I hate the fact that characters like that exist in the real world.

[Jane Doe]

This story gave me goosebumps and brought tears to my eyes. It is very poignant and incredibly well written. I liked that you commented on mental abuse being just as bad, or worse, as physical abuse. I was with an abusive man for two years before I left, and, as strange as this sounds, often I would rather he have hit me than say the things he said. The physical pain was so much easier to take than the mental anguish and torture.

This is an incredible story. The writing is fantastic! Kudos!

[Jenny Davis]

Oh wow! This is such a brilliant, touching story that brought more than one tear to my eyes. The way you told it is amazing...as well as the story line...a thousand cheers to you and all mothers who sacrifice like this. Sadly, it happens all too often....great piece :)

[Carole]

Girl, this kept me absolutely spell bound from the beginning to the end. First, you have captured the essence of maternal sacrifice for children. Your picture is perfect. Your beginning drew me right in and your pace remained steady throughout the piece. From the scene of mom and dad fighting to Dad walking out the door to her telling her daughter that she was leaving. I am glad she stayed for your sake (if it was you) or the little girl. I love your ending:

This is a story of selflessness.

Selflessness of a mother for her child. At the cost of everything else.

You have captured the epitome of a wonderful character trait in parenting: Selflessness! Thinking of others before ourselves and in this case, a mother putting her child first.

Though intense abuse would never warrant staying, I think this is an admirable story and I am sure she doesn't regret staying. There is so much selfishness in this world. It's all about "Looking out for number one" with no one else mattering.

I hope this little girl is able to release the guilt, as I don't think mama would have been content to endure a separation from her daughter.

Very well written!

[James K. Blaylock]

This is utterly heartbreaking, but it happens all over the world. Mothers often give up everything for their beloved children, and sometimes get nothing in return... But God still sees the heart in everything we do.

jkb