Completely Broken

Acrostic

 

Can I ever go back to being what I was?

Or become who you wished me to become?

My heart knows you still want the best for me

Probably that is not to be

Losing you has destroyed my wishes

Every where around is darkness

The hole I’ve buried myself in, is very deep

Emptiness surrounds me, the climb is too steep

Life has come to a standstill

Your memory is all that feels alive

 

Battling against feelings of self-destruction

Rarely do I think of picking myself up again

Overwhelming emotions have cluttered my mind, I

Know that I still exist, but I’m aware I’ve ceased to live

Every dream that you dreamed for me is broken

Now I’m broken as well; completely broken

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Kevin Andros]

Is this a common trend? Following up the title of the poem in the first letters of the lines? Bhavya does that extremely well, I see that He got this from you.

Can I ever go back to being what I was?

The first line gives an impression that the writer wants to go back to the innocent days, when his/her soul was pure, but

Or become who you wished me to become?

This line changes the whole vision of the reader as the writer talking about the time before the relationship and now is over and there's nothing left but the scars and "Yadein" of that relationship.

Throughout the poem a flow has been maintained and like I said earlier, the title repeating itself vertically was simply a work of art. Well done. ~KA~

[T.K. Bruhn]

Great poem. I felt your emotion of what your going through. i couldnt really imagine anything there but it still made me feel the emotion that you put through words well done.

[CharlieO]

Although this is a dark write (in my opinion) I really enjoyed reading it. I think that you have managed to capture something many people go through. I also found some personal resoance in this piece - I related it to a bad relationship I was in.
I liked the way you formatted the piece and I think the image really complimented it. I would love to have read more - maybe you could extend this?
Congrats on a great write.

[Dani California]

Ohhh... I have been here... more than once I'm afraid, and is exactly why I am single now. I am completely terrified of returning here. Please, don't follow that mindset.

Time will eventually lift the darkness and ease the pain, that is certain. But letting go and moving on is a choice.... make the right one for yourself when that time comes. Keep living... !

As far as the writing itself, ... this is fantastic! Your talent is unmistakable here :)

Excellent write!

I wish you well!
Peace, Dani

[Jane Doe]

I love this poem. It is a great use of the acrostic style, very emotional and powerful. Wonderful writing. I've so been broken so many times, I can relate to what you describe here.

[Beautifully Tragic xPoe..]

I can strongly relate to this. Great sad emotion through every line. Great Acrostic.

[Jofer Serapio]

This is an amazing read. The way you portrayed the emotions were always superb, as I've said time and time again. you have a knack for making people feel through your poetry and this was greatly emphasized on this piece. I love the words you chose for this piece and I admire how they flowed so well, interacting with each other without any problems at all. To make things short, it IS a great acrostic.

[Michael]

Very nice. You give the work a balance few acrostic poems achieve. The two pairs of rhyming lines will trip up some but I think they work. often the suggestion of a rhyme scheme will throw off the pace but here they seem the natural choice and not forced at all.

Great work!

[Ladysue]

Oh, this was very beautifully expressed and brought about a myriad of emotion for me. I love this line...
Emptiness surrounds me, the climb is too steep...excellent expressed! A great piece of writing that conveyed a broken heart so eloquently and accurately. A great piece.

[Carole]

Very touching write. You have shared with us the "Picture of Brokenness!" I have been in that dark hole and had my heart broken in a million pieces, eventually to be healed and put back together piece by piece in a very methodical way. Restoration will come as you seek it.

I love the way your acrostic flows. Your choice of words and phrases is stunning to say the least. Your feelings flowed so freely. Feeling your pain, friend. Always the sign of a good writer when writing emotion!

[Nicole Renee]

I thought this was a really good usage of acrostic writing and that your poem coveys the message very well. It's hard to pick yourself up from a heart break, but I'm sure you'll be able to find a better chapter in your life. ^_^" Again, a really lovely poem!

-Nicole