Completely Broken

Acrostic

 

Can I ever go back to being what I was?

Or become who you wished me to become?

My heart knows you still want the best for me

Probably that is not to be

Losing you has destroyed my wishes

Every where around is darkness

The hole I’ve buried myself in, is very deep

Emptiness surrounds me, the climb is too steep

Life has come to a standstill

Your memory is all that feels alive

 

Battling against feelings of self-destruction

Rarely do I think of picking myself up again

Overwhelming emotions have cluttered my mind, I

Know that I still exist, but I’m aware I’ve ceased to live

Every dream that you dreamed for me is broken

Now I’m broken as well; completely broken

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Kevin Andros]

Is this a common trend? Following up the title of the poem in the first letters of the lines? Bhavya does that extremely well, I see that He got this from you.

Can I ever go back to being what I was?

The first line gives an impression that the writer wants to go back to the innocent days, when his/her soul was pure, but

Or become who you wished me to become?

This line changes the whole vision of the reader as the writer talking about the time before the relationship and now is over and there's nothing left but the scars and "Yadein" of that relationship.

Throughout the poem a flow has been maintained and like I said earlier, the title repeating itself vertically was simply a work of art. Well done. ~KA~

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

A truely lovely acrostic. Very nicely done. Thank you for sharing and entering my contest. Debileah

[Tony Hwilka]

Love certainly makes the mind spin of crazy thoughts blending dreams into nightmares. Hey I just came up with a line for my next poem-- thank you. You have written a very heart breaking poem and I like it very much. A suggestion in the 2nd line-- or become who you wished me to become? Leave the 1st become out.
or who, you wish me to become. Just a suggestion.
Tony

[Kris Tate]

Awesome use of language, sounds like a very rough time in your life. I like the rhythm and meter of the poem.

[Mysty Rayn]

I can't tell you how much I love the line "Emptiness surrounds me, the climb is too steep". That really hit home for me. Fantastic line.

[Vanessa P]

Great write. To feel completely broken, quite a sad and miserable feeling that must be. It's like nothing can make you feel the same way about anything in life. A part of your soul or being was stripped away from you. Maybe someday you'll find what makes you whole again.

[LadyLove]

The first line got to me...and I tell you...no, you can't go back...but you take forward the best of what was. I've been there in those places you have written. But hope is always waiting to spring on you when you least expect it. No one is completely broken that another can't fix in his own way. Fortunately, we are not made of stone. Human hearts have capacity for many kinds of love on all levels. Living is to honor what was and giving it a continued life. Love is never truly erased from within ourselves. You wrote a very sad, heart-felt piece of love lost. I truly feel the person's melancholy and despair. Nice work.

[Ivory]

Powerful and very sad piece. very creative, i could feel your words because i have felt all that your poem described. But slowly I am recovering, one day at a time : )

[Gandré]

I have respect for acrostic poetry. I never tried, I think I can't do it. This was like �going down to the ground, now and forever, and not wanting to be seen. I voted for you, good luck.

[MandarinOranges]

I love it! And I hate it! Only because it reflects so painfully clear how I feel almost all the time.
Beautifully written poem!