Black Heart

Black Heart

A Poem by Imperfection
"

For a contest

"

It is not hard to recollect memories of him

For some incidents never fade away

Now I crave for the love I lost

My heart longs for his warmth today

 

I failed to understand the demands of my mind

Tangled into knots, it misled me; I was blind

Now, I’m distant from him and his love so true

There is no way to undo the past or to start anew

 

If only I’d spoken to myself before I spoke to him

I certainly would’ve been happier, I would’ve been with him

I started with sincere intentions but on the way, lost control

My heart was opaque; it betrayed his soul

 

© 2008 Imperfection


Author's Note

Imperfection
Thanks to Rambling Prose for helping me to express it better...

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Featured Review

I really loved this and felt every line like living it myself, which I think of as the ultimate test of good writing; not just good words strung together, but to illicite a heart-felt reaction from the reader. Your writing never fails to do that and do it well! Two lines hit me like a hammer; "There is no way to undo the past, or to start anew." and " I started with sincere intensions, but on the way lost control. My heart was opaque, it betrayed his soul." It says exactly how I've felt in my own life. Precisely and beautifully stated.

Posted 16 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

it's real touching...

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

i loved the poem although i think it should have been spaced out it would have made it easier to read but beautiful piece

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is a good poem but this is a clerihew contest and this is not a clerihew poem.

Sal

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This sounds so sad. Very well written poem. Thank you for sharing. Debileah

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ah. The moment. These kind of moments when everything goes wrong in our life and we wish that we could have a rewind buttong for our lives that went so wrong and so right it could be.

It's a nice write, expressed gracefully and done justice to the words used in this. Keep writing. ~KA~

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

There are so many poems about being betrayed but few from the person who has betrayed. I respect the person who can look with in to see fault in themselves for bridges built but not crossed. Communication is a key elament in a relationship and without it, a relationship is doomed. Love will rot on the vine every time.
This poem is unique. The perspective fresh. The desire for forgiveness so very evident , if only from yourself ...for yourself. Good luck in the contest.

Mr. Lopez

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I love this one! Especially the line...if only I'd spoken to myself before I spoke to him...how true of many relationships that fall because of words spoken without fully appreciating the impact they may have. Such a containment of speech comes with many mistakes. Sadly, we earn our wisdom this way. This is a great piece that I have now added to my library. Keep going kid! You're doing fine.

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is a well crafted piece of work, with outstanding imagery and emotional impact.

Good luck with the contest� You've got my vote


Posted 16 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

decent write. concise, simple, accessible and touching. I liked it.

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I really loved this and felt every line like living it myself, which I think of as the ultimate test of good writing; not just good words strung together, but to illicite a heart-felt reaction from the reader. Your writing never fails to do that and do it well! Two lines hit me like a hammer; "There is no way to undo the past, or to start anew." and " I started with sincere intensions, but on the way lost control. My heart was opaque, it betrayed his soul." It says exactly how I've felt in my own life. Precisely and beautifully stated.

Posted 16 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.


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669 Views
11 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on May 13, 2008
Last Updated on May 19, 2008

Author

Imperfection
Imperfection

India



About
�Writing is easy. You only need to stare at a piece of blank paper until your forehead bleeds� - Douglas Adams. I am a woman in my 20's. I love writing...sometimes it doesn't.. more..

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