18th of March

I'm very good at remembering dates. This is a page from my diary - March 18...

                          

 

Exactly a year has gone by since I heard your voice over the phone.

From then till now, I don't know how I have survived. Looking back, it seems like a miracle that I have lived through these 365 days; I had thought the world would cease to exist if you ever left.

 

The memory of that day is still so fresh in my mind. I have gone over it so many days in the last 12 months that not a single part of it has faded. Your text messages, my call, your voice telling me that this was the end of OUR journey together...

 

I was calm, didn't express what I was feeling.

In fact I wasn't even aware of my feelings immediately. It took a while to sink in. And even after that I foolishly told myself to wait, to hope that something would make you change your mind. But after about a week, I gathered my senses and wrote a goodbye-mail to you. And that was the end.

 

I told those who knew about us that we have separated and it was a mutual decision because we couldn't carry the relationship further. It has taken me a year to realize that I was consciously or unconsciously lying to them. I didn't want us to separate; you did.

I merely accepted your decision. I had no choice.

 

My feelings for you have grown stronger since you left. It's hard to concentrate on anything else. But I need to. I have to focus on work; I have ignored that area of my life a lot in the last year. The motivation is missing now. I'd wanted to achieve certain things for myself and for us. But things have drastically changed today. Even if I work very hard and fulfill all my ambitions - professionally and personally, the one thing I can never have is YOU.

Then what do I work for?

Who do I work for?

No matter what I do, no matter what I get and where I am, you will always remain always missing.

 

These thoughts have been on my mind all through the past year. And it seems that it will remain this way forever. Even though, I haven't seen or heard you for a year now, I haven't spent a single moment without you.

Every year will bring me to the 18^th of March and I see myself writing another piece on you. Thankfully you're not reading this; it would upset you.

 

My life is over. It's the future that's left. I have to try to live through it.

With your memories, of course...

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Not much of a story...just what I'm feeling at the moment.

Reviews

[Bhavya Kaushik]

I told those who knew about us that we have separated and it was a mutual decision because we couldn't carry the relationship further. It has taken me a year to realize that I was consciously or unconsciously lying to them. I didn't want us to separate; you did.

I merely accepted your decision. I had no choice.....

Its 18th of march today :'(
Hope you are feeling better now!

I tried but it was impossible for me to stop reading this today.....This is beautiful , beautiful...

[Bhavya Kaushik]

They say that time amends everything,
And certainly we all know that deep within.
I often wonder how a moment can change,
The desire of two people to alter their fate.


Do you remember the last time when we met?
Even though I try but I can never forget.
Your words, your touch and your last goodbye,
The silence you left which only made me cry.



Gone are my thoughts now with you my dear,
But this pain only reminds me of you being real.
I don’t know why they say time amends everything,
Even though they know it is just a lie deep within.


____

This is something which I wrote after being inspired by this exceptional and incomparable piece of writing.
Another 18th of march has come today, I hope now you won't be wondering the same (even though I know you would be...)
Time never amends anything, its been two years now since I read this piece, I wonder then why they say that time amends everything and heals every wound :(

This pain is just too real, these wounds won't seem to heal...there is just too much that time can not erase :-(

[BABSIE BEE]

I loved this. I can imagine your feelings and hurt yet strength. You must be very strong to hold on to your faith. Hang on in there. What,s worth fighting for is worth fighting for !!
Thanks
BABSIE BEE XX

[Bhavya Kaushik]

This writing really gave me chills after reading it. I really wonder how I missed it.
It is awesome, really one of your best!

The middle section pulled me a lot where you describes its not you who wanted the separation, you just accepted his decision, just because you were a part of that relationship. No matter, how much time you will explain to others that it was a mutual decision but somewhere, in your heart, you will have that regret....
And I'm sure; it would be very hard for you...

I can really find myself close to it because even I have a "18th of march", though that day of mine is 24th of December, but still...the feel is just same!

[Rain]

My goal is to take this talent you have and get it out of the pit it's in. I know that's personal, and I need to leave well enough alone. But, at 28..there is love all around you. Rain..

[Just Manoosh]

Sweetie, there are so many parallels in this story I could share with you. A sad but truthful account, you are not alone. You are so brave to share this. Mx

[Aries]

This is so heartbreaking. I feel as though I am walking this journey along side you. The pain projected is remarkable...your words carry the heartache and desperation in such a vivid tone.

The photo enhances these feelings....

This is an Awesome Writing....You are very Talented~~