The Lonely Footprint

The Lonely Footprint

A Poem by Imperfection
"

:-(

"

 

 

 

As one wave after another

Comes crashing at my feet,

Tears roll down my cheeks and

The drops are lost in the sea below

 

Though you’ve never been here

This place reminds me of you

For I have created memories of us

Walking on these golden sands TOGETHER

 

I turn back and look one last time…

Just one set of footprints.

The sea beckons me...

And soothingly washes it away.

© 2008 Imperfection


Author's Note

Imperfection
Thanks to Blackbirdsong for suggestions.

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Featured Review

Another lovely poem from you and this one as well has a dreamy quality that is also ultimately poignant and full of longing. Again I think your words are stronger than any devices with fonts or caps....so in my humble opinion I would just write the words, "together," and "mine" as is...the power is already there. Your poetic voice is quite strong.

Also - sorry but I really do like this poem and I wanted to spend some more time with it - I think the last stanza would might be better like this -

" I turn back and look one last time�
Just one set of footprints. (I took away "mine" because it is clear what you are talking about)
The sea beckons me (more dreamy and evocative without "to come")
And washes it away."

Again just a suggestion. I'm not trying to rewrite your work in any way. I have really enjoyed reading your work and look forward to reading more in the future.


Posted 16 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

This is another beautiful and heartfelt piece. Your descriptions put me right there seeing everything right along with you and I felt the lonliness at seeing only one set of footprints.

Posted 16 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Wow, This is a heartbreaking song of lost love, Beautiful write.

Posted 16 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

8 simple and beautiful lines!
Truly wonderful, it kinda put peace within my soul reading it, thanks for that a lot I needed some of that

All the best,
Tamer Qtaish

Posted 16 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Beautiful. Why does the ocean create such emotion ? The sea..a river, all seem connected to our souls. This was a poignant piece. Rain..

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is poignantly, heartbreakingly beautiful...
Excellent job! Great flow, beautiful imagery...a touch of love, a touch of sadness...all the really good elements of great poetry! Well done!

Posted 16 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Another lovely poem from you and this one as well has a dreamy quality that is also ultimately poignant and full of longing. Again I think your words are stronger than any devices with fonts or caps....so in my humble opinion I would just write the words, "together," and "mine" as is...the power is already there. Your poetic voice is quite strong.

Also - sorry but I really do like this poem and I wanted to spend some more time with it - I think the last stanza would might be better like this -

" I turn back and look one last time�
Just one set of footprints. (I took away "mine" because it is clear what you are talking about)
The sea beckons me (more dreamy and evocative without "to come")
And washes it away."

Again just a suggestion. I'm not trying to rewrite your work in any way. I have really enjoyed reading your work and look forward to reading more in the future.


Posted 16 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Very beautiful. I really liked it. Thanks for entering The Water Contest.

Elise

Posted 16 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.

"The Lonely Footprint"

A very poignant write but still very beautiful. It is so hard after they've gone away, I know. Sometimes it does seem as though they were never here at all.

Posted 16 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.

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Lia
Beautiful piece. Touched me, Thank you xx

Posted 16 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.


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673 Views
19 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on February 28, 2008
Last Updated on April 21, 2008

Author

Imperfection
Imperfection

India



About
�Writing is easy. You only need to stare at a piece of blank paper until your forehead bleeds� - Douglas Adams. I am a woman in my 20's. I love writing...sometimes it doesn't.. more..

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