Cold in December

I wrote it last December...thoughts about losing him.

 

Every December, I look for him again. And yes, I find him… Whenever, I look for him, he's there...

Been two years since that day in December but I still make it a point to walk through those places where I had been with him. I remember every moment of that day. Every single bit of it. I go through those memories in my head once in a while because I have to keep the memory of that day as alive as it would have felt had it been possible to turn it into reality once again. Not that I will forget if I don’t remind myself. His goodness makes it impossible for me to forget him.



Every December, I take out the same dress that I had worn at our last meeting. For the rest of the year, I keep it away in my closet. I wear it to feel those moments that I can never have back, to feel him. I’m wearing it now as I’m typing this.

As I’d walked away from him that day, I had known that we would meet again and yet I was crying. I was the first to walk away because I didn’t want him to see my tears. Today is different; I know we will never be together again. The tears haven't ceased to flow.

He was in such a hurry that evening and yet he had come to meet me. The meeting had lasted hardly a couple of minutes.

I remember I’d said – “it doesn’t make sense to travel all that distance and come here when all I get is to hold your hand”

And his reply – “even if I have to come double that distance for a glance of you, I will. For you’re worth it.”

But every December without him is yet another proof of the fact that we will never meet again.

Every December, I miss him more.

Every December, the cold distance between us grows.

And I feel the pain grow too.

 

For more on the background, you can go through the other pieces I've posted here. I almost always write about "him"...pretty much all the time.

Reviews

[Serendipity]

You pain is too much. His love is so sweet "even if I have to come double that distance for a glance of you, I will. For you're worth it." Don't allow "the cold distance between us grows".

Two people in pain for one love, it just doesn't seem fair. Give both of yourselves another chance. Give love another chance. You deserve to have a happy and warm December; don't let it just pass you by.

[Alyssa Dufresne]

I would love to see more if you add...

I can't help but wonder what happened to make the separation occur.

My heart goes out to you.

[Spoken]

A love that will never come to be. Very sad... I'd love to read more. I wonder why if he loved her so and she loved him why they cannot be together? The picture definately reflects the words... very eloquantly sadening. My heart goes out to you...

[Jenny Davis]

This is sooo sad. It's hard to come to the realization of a love that isn't going to fully evolve, but you expressed your feelings wonderfully. Still, as optimistic as I am, I hope you see him again :)