Cold in December

I wrote it last December...thoughts about losing him.

 

Every December, I look for him again. And yes, I find him… Whenever, I look for him, he's there...

Been two years since that day in December but I still make it a point to walk through those places where I had been with him. I remember every moment of that day. Every single bit of it. I go through those memories in my head once in a while because I have to keep the memory of that day as alive as it would have felt had it been possible to turn it into reality once again. Not that I will forget if I don’t remind myself. His goodness makes it impossible for me to forget him.



Every December, I take out the same dress that I had worn at our last meeting. For the rest of the year, I keep it away in my closet. I wear it to feel those moments that I can never have back, to feel him. I’m wearing it now as I’m typing this.

As I’d walked away from him that day, I had known that we would meet again and yet I was crying. I was the first to walk away because I didn’t want him to see my tears. Today is different; I know we will never be together again. The tears haven't ceased to flow.

He was in such a hurry that evening and yet he had come to meet me. The meeting had lasted hardly a couple of minutes.

I remember I’d said – “it doesn’t make sense to travel all that distance and come here when all I get is to hold your hand”

And his reply – “even if I have to come double that distance for a glance of you, I will. For you’re worth it.”

But every December without him is yet another proof of the fact that we will never meet again.

Every December, I miss him more.

Every December, the cold distance between us grows.

And I feel the pain grow too.

 

For more on the background, you can go through the other pieces I've posted here. I almost always write about "him"...pretty much all the time.

Reviews

[Serendipity]

You pain is too much. His love is so sweet "even if I have to come double that distance for a glance of you, I will. For you're worth it." Don't allow "the cold distance between us grows".

Two people in pain for one love, it just doesn't seem fair. Give both of yourselves another chance. Give love another chance. You deserve to have a happy and warm December; don't let it just pass you by.

[Fran Marie]

Every December, the cold distance between us grows.

And I feel the pain grow too.


A poignant ppiece so deeply expressed in sadness

Indeed a Dark December write~ THanks for sharing~in the contest

Fran Marie

[Adela Muresan]

Nice piece.
Yes, your emotions flow well into ,,delicate,, prose. I think the sincerity you wrote it with gives it beauty and the fact that you accept the truth makes it interesting.

Unfortunately, I cannoth make you a finalist in the ,,Gray,, contest, because it's obvious that you haven't lost the ability to love since you hurt. Please if you enter another one of my contest read the description of ot as well to see if your work would be proper to post; you would save me some time.

A.M.

[Catastrophe]

Reading through this poem made me feel a broken heart...
i can relate to your words, and i want to say that you write beautifully;
this made me very sad just because my heart could relate...
its just an amazing write...
keep on writing

[Bhavya Kaushik]

This is very heart wrenching :'(
This entire write convey a deep sense of grief and sadness to the reader, and even I felt the same while I was going through it!
I also felt little nostalgic when I read following lines-

"I remember I'd said � "it doesn't make sense to travel all that distance and come here when all I get is a touch of your hand"

And his reply � "even if I have to come double that distance for a glance of you, I will. For you're worth it."

These lines actually reminded me of my past relationship which doesn't worked well and frankly, I've no regrets upon it! :)
Because it's not about loving the perfect person, but it's all about loving the imperfect person perfectly...

But this is really one of your best writes I've ever read..
Awesome indeed!! :) :)

[Aries]

A beautiful writing that is full of heartbreaking sadness...a love like this should never end up this way.
Intense emotion brings this piece to life....the pain is too easily felt.
You paint a vivid picture of loneliness, emptiness and longing for something that seems can never be..

This is Writing at it's best~Thank you for sharing this~

[V. K. Harris]

I felt myself in that moment at your side, as you glare in the distance from that meeting place on that December day, tears filling the picture. Beautiful write.

[Nicole (Carpe Diem)]

i will have to go back and read more about 'him' as you suggest in the little endnote there... i feel a lot of emotion in this piece and am very curious as to why it is only this one time a year that you meet... i have a lot of ideas about this...

fantastic piece

[Rain]

Thanks for the little footnote. It will help. It's such an intriquing piece, but I fell something missing. I will become current. This was great. Rain..

[Helen Woodward]

I think for memory that you are speaking of your son? If so, you need to accept what you can't change...
I know this from my own experience, I also know how difficult it is to do, but I am better every day thanks to this philosophy...I wish you well on your journey of acceptance as it is the only way to deal with it.
Have a happy Christmas and 2008...
Helen :-)

[Ladysue]

Oh Caffeine, your words are spoken with deep emotion and love. This is such a hard feeling to have and it stirs a myriad of emotions in me. You spoke right from the heart and it is gut wrenching. A beautifully expressive piece. Very sad, but written with so much love.