The Unspoken Promise, now B-R-O-K-E-N...

My first attempt at Alliterisen Poetry - unedited. Suggestions are welcome.

 
You had to leave, you had to go

I’d thought I could hide my sadness from you

But your eyes had read my thoughts

As I looked deep into them, I found

 

An unspoken promise

To be by my side forever

You’ve kept your word; but I haven’t.

 

 

Reviews

[Rain]

You absolutely must have loved this guy without limit. I went with a girl in California for 5 years. We were to be married..life got in the way, but I promised I would never ever forget. The other day I wrote a piece called " Last dance with a Memory." After falling in love with someone else, and many many years passing, her memory was so vague I couldn't recall her. The impossible happened. Memories do not last forever. Her memory was almost all vanished, and I thought it sad. Your writing of him sounds so familiar to me. Beautiful. Rain..

[Nya]

Wow! This is beautiful...your words are so vivid...and the end holds a unique twist...i'm not an expert on poetry but your words definitely touched me. great job!

[V. K. Harris]

Eyes speak without words spoken, I love this piece. Excellent write.

[Bhavya Kaushik]

This is an awesomely awesome piece...
beautifully sad :(
and touched me to my deepest extend!!
Brilliant piece! :)

[Dorothy]

Very interesting! It is so sad when you know you are the one who broke your word. Nicely expressed.

[Caitbabie008]

This is areally sad piece! :(

[Monners]

intriguing...