Living without him

 

Some stories remain incomplete

Not all poems rhyme

 

Broken wings, shattered dreams

Memories frozen in time

 

I can still hear his words- spoken, unspoken

My brave promises to him-a few still unbroken

 

Nothing can again break my heart

For I, have already ripped it apart

 

17th June 2007

Reviews

[Bhavya Kaushik]

This is beautifully sad and so perfectly heartbreaking!
"I can still hear his words- spoken, unspoken
My brave promises to him-a few still unbroken"- These lines out stand for me, I loved them the most..
Also, then ending...ah! It's beautiful..
I loved this piece :)


"To fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful."

[r]

i like it

[Rain]

This was 2 years ago. There is so much saddness. I hurt for you. Rain..

[kree8ivity]

I like simple poems. Writers become adriot when able to evoke without verbosity. Here you have shown less is more. Moreover, your auditory sense is incredible! How have you learned to hear unsaid words? =p

[Kara Emily Krantz]

nice job with this! yes, i love the simplicity of it. i thought perhaps that i might benefit from a little breaking up - such as some more punctuation. And in the last line, the comma isn't needed. I love that ending though. Great job with this

[Not Afraid of Bruises]

A great, simple piece.The very last line works - but I feel that is sounds a little too much like a cliche. All the other lines avoid it up to that point. But changing that last line is up to you. :)

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

You write from your heart, very nice. Debileah

[desertraven]

NICE! I really liked it!
Sandra :)

[Shalini R]

this is cool, i really like it
its broken and fixed, just great

[[untitled]]

This poem brought a tear to my eye and tore a hole in my heart. Great work, I loved it.