Rivals

I did friendship with cool breeze

Because it passed from my window

From her window

Because it understood my mood

And comforted me

When my heart was broken

And I needed someone

Because I couldn’t find a better messenger than it

So

I did friendship with breeze

But I didn’t know

Breeze is my rival in love

I saw it playing with her hair

It broke my trust

Never do friendship with cool breeze

Reviews

[emptyinkwell]

Great write! I love the twist at the end and the perspective throughout the piece. Digesting this piece, I almost pictured it as if you and the breeze were one and the girl was the side piece. You knew the breeze went by both houses but never distrusted its intentions until the end. Excellent!

[angel]

OK, this is beautiful. I love this idea of the breeze as a rival. My favorite line?

Because it understood my mood

And comforted me

When my heart was broken

So nice.

[Wild Rose]

Dont make friends with the wind ever > If you do it will return your love with cold wet rain