methinks wethinks too much dear sir

        

paint your kiss

in espresso drips,

i'll meet you in between

your 'always cold' and my

(stage direction: breathe)

near constant radiation

our fingertips the seams

as you struggle with the lid

to lap up the whipped cream

i show off my habitual addictions

my hands are made for such as these

not for fondling or flirting

or holding place about your waist

(illustrate)

but striking strings and writing whims(-ical)

journeys amidst the staves

 

'what am I feeling?' ask's oneself

'put that in wondrous words'

(woeful exhale)

'it never happens' I reply

both sides have their flaws

my diction falls too short to show

and I feel nothing at all

what words but void, anaesthetised

describe my faculties' withdraw'l?

 

believe in this?

me?

(of course)

i think maybe i'm scared

i have this problem (everything)

with looking out ahead

i'd love to fall in (insert cliche)

with a winter setting scene

but surely all falls lead to landing

hard at incredulous speeds

I'm trying my best, you understand

our pace suppressed my needs.

-

 

6 cups later

i'm getting cold

the air con's in my face

my pest friend Jack is fidgeting

“let's vacate this corporate disgrace!”

I think it wrong to give this write a satisfactory perfect cadence

so off we away into the night...

 

 

Reviews

[awkward turtle]

this is really interesting. bizarre, even. but in an excellent way. i love the stage directions throughout; they add a sort of surreal vibe to the whole thing. i feel like i could see two actors on a stage, reciting these lines with all their heart and soul. awesome write :)

[Patches I'm not so new..]

well I read it

[Lexi Nicole]

This is definitely a new favorite for me. It's awesome! Great writing- perfect flow, formatting, everything. Great work! You painted a great picture with this piece and just the whole feeling it of it...Yeah, this poem is pretty much perfect. Well-executed writing and just all around great story.

[Tessah]

Great poem. You got riddem!

[run vs remember]

Very creative, unfamiliar kind of writing. I like the ebb an flow of the story a lot. The ending feels very climactic.

edit: also, great name.

[siamois]

This is wonderful, a odd piece but with feeling and a nice sort of 'vibe' to it. (:

[JRB]

very different yet enjoyed the read

[celyn]

:) yay

[Lunar Lightning]

Very lovely piece, I absolutely loved it. It kind of reminds me of what goes on inside my own head, though I'm not entirely sure if that's a good thing or not. I enjoyed that the story told about, somewhat, a story, though seemingly meaningless as it was. I'd like to ask what the information or emotion you wished for your readers to get out of this was because it has me completely stumped.

Luna

[wolfshrew]

Some lines arent supposed to fit. The fact that the last long alters your attention at the end seems exactly how it should be. The way your words and thoughts piece together in this writing makes me think a lot and relate to
things I am not even sure I have made sense of by reading through it once.

Anyway, great.

[Simone]

There is not much to be said that the others havent- but i personally love this write! Great job and very very entertaining.