Consumed

I've killed myself a thousand times
Just only in my head.
And I'll do it once again tonight
When I'm lying in my bed

Family waits downstairs,
Thinking I'm alright.
But they don't know
I'm losing m own fight.

Family cooking dinner
Daughter lost in dreams
Not ones of playful pleasure
But ones of worthless measure.
And high pitched screeching screams.

I've killed myself a thousand times,
But I am still alive to speak
Because dreams are only dreams
But life has made me weak.

Family always told her
To make her dreams come true,
But what if dreams are nightmares
That take her back from you?

Daughter wants them happy,
So she runs and runs and runs,
Towards those dreams of disappearing
Those dreams of persevering…
Without family interfering.

I've killed myself a thousand times
     Within my lonely head.
And though dreams are only dreams
(Or so it clearly seems)
I am chasing for those screams
     Of death, dying, and dead.

Family doesn't know
They think she's still okay
They think the Prozac's working
They think she wants to stay.

Daughter waits in silence
For peace that never comes
She's left alone in darkness,
To her demons, she's succumb.

The depression's made her murder
Herself a thousand times.
But she won't get detained
For she her self's the crime.

And though she tries her hardest
Her poem never rhymes.

I don't know where I'm going
I don't think I'll get out
I don't remember coming here
With voice too small to shout.

Daughter never good enough
Mother always yelling stuff
Father says he's had enough
Sister skin is thick and tough

Daughter sits and cries her bluff
                "It's okay, I ate enough,"
The breakdown is oh so rough.
But daughter's skin is not so tough.

Her knees scrape and scratch
She moans and groans
She breaks her bones

Daughter's never good enough.

Bumps and bruises across my face
Cuts and scars along my wrist
Fingers clutched within a fist

Punch through the window pane
You stared out to watch the rain
But safe inside, all you feel is pain.

Pain for what?
Depression swallows daughter whole
Never knowing why it came
She finds it peaceful, others scream
Watching as she goes insane.

I've killed myself inside my head
A thousand times before
But this time's different; I can't stop
From wanting to feel more.

Family looks around and sees
The beauty of her smile,
They don't know and they can't see
They need to help their child.

The darkness overpowers
Though I try to run away
Depression is my only friend
As I bend and fall and sway
                Towards the end.

She's killed herself a thousand times
But now it is for real.
Daughter cannot bear to take
That which she cannot feel.

So in mangled mind and unknown skin
Depression takes her over.

The end will soon begin.

I hold my life
Within my hands
But it's far too late
And no one understands.

Daughter drops life to the floor
                I've given up my private war.
Daughter stops and stares at death
                I breathe myself my final breath.

Daughter leaves her pain behind
As she kills herself a final time.

Her body was far too broken
For sewers to start to mend
And just then Family realized:
It just takes one to end.