Shake

Rape

Aching
Breaking
Shaking

Shaking though the temperature says
I should be doing otherwise
Shaking not because it's cold
But because of crying eyes.

And I'm not shaking because yet again I'm too thin
I'm shaking for the way you touch my skin
It's so cold and frigid
My body stiff
My body rigid.

And the goose bumps remain
Because the pain stays the same
And I'm still shaking
Not because my body's frail
Not because I'm weak and pale

Not like I used to be.

But I shake
Because your touch was so cold
And your moves were so bold
And I was once told
By a friend
That if silence were gold
                She'd be silver.

But I guess I'm just gold
Because I kept my voice down
And I could have said No
                A little louder

And I could have said Stop
                A little prouder.

I could have screamed a little louder.

And my voice
It's shaking
Not because I shiver
But because I've always been the giver.
                And I gave.

And my hands are left shaking
Not because my nail beds are blue
Like they were when I was thin
But because you left fear
Beneath my skin.

And my body
It's shaking
Because I need your affection
And I'm fading away
And my colors are grey
Because I must have been blind
To not see your intentions.

And there's no mistaking
I'm aching
Breaking
Shaking

Shaking in this summer heat
Not because I'm too thin to live
But because I had too much to give
                And I gave.

And even though you can't see it anymore
Chills are running through my spine
And I'm shaking
But I say that I'm fine
But the fear inside
Will eat me alive.

And I am left shaking
On this beautiful day
Not because my bones are showing
But because the dandelions
I've been blowing
Haven't made the flashbacks go away.

So on this beautiful day
I don't really know
If I want to stay.

And I'm shaking
Because I should have screamed louder
And I should have pushed prouder
And I should have said No
With a little more force
And I should have said Go
A little more coarse.

And they say silence is golden
But if that's really true
Then just like my friend
I wish I was silver.