Maps

Guide me 

Not only to a place
Far away from here
But to a place
Where I can lose myself

Not in the way that I'm so lost now
But in the way that
I know I'll be okay 
Somehow.

I want to be lost 
Just so I know what it feels like to be found.

But right now I feel my heart pound
And I know it's because
I'm not losing the pounds
And the pounds 
Are all that matter

Aren't they?

Please guide me.
Because clearly my mind isn't right
And I'll admit
That I'm not really okay tonight
But I'm trying so hard to just be alright

Because my dreams
They're all out of sight 
Since I'm so lost in this world 
And I have become
That poor little girl
That everyone pities
Because they don't understand
How someone so pretty
Could lose herself as tremendously
And endlessly
As I have.

Guide me
To a place so remote
That maybe I'll be able 
To find myself hope
And to help me to cope
With these overwhelming
Everywhere
Worn and torn
And Disrepaired
Thoughts.

But I am distraught

So lost in this world
And so fetally curled
There's no one to help this poor little girl.

But for once
I just want to know
What exactly it feels like to be found

But right now all I feel is the pound 
In my heart
And I know it's because
I'm not losing the pounds
And it's all about the pounds
And how many pounds
Do you weigh
And why won't the pounds
Go away
And have I lost any pounds
Yet today
And why the f**k
Won't my heart
Stop
Pounding?

I guess it's because
I'm not making a sound
And all these thoughts in my head
Are just making it pound
Because I really just need
To let it all out.

But I need help.

So, guide me
Far, far away from here
Because I can't be your "Dear
Allison" letter
Because I'll need to get lost
So I can get better.

I need to stop this heart pounding
Sounding 
Cliché
But I think I need to get some rest
And maybe then
I'll be okay

But please…

Guide me.