I never do

nope, not that

I never do

know how to say them,

the words that

tremor underneath

the surface,

the words

that shimmer

under the tears

that tickle

the corners of my eyes;

the words I wipe away

when you're not looking,

beneath the makeup

of my smile ...

 

I don't need

the words you

think you cannot say,

the ones

you've never said

to anyone ...

but I do need

something

sometime

maybe ...

to know that I

am more than

nothing

even if

I'm not

the one.

Author's Note

the drawing is mine

Reviews

[Cassie]

The last part is painful more like ended with a sad note

[Lyn Anderson]

sometimes there is sadness inside the happy.

[Neville]

tinged with sadness, but characteristically so, and touchingly, hauntingly true...

[Lyn Anderson]

The toughest tthing, sometimes is to accept what another is capable of giving, if it truly is not about you, but something in them that's afraid of breaking

[Neville]

Absolutely...

[Lorry]

Sometimes those words bring fear when too close to the surface. I have always tried to say it if I truly felt it, it saves on all those thoughts filled with regret. But on not hearing them from someone you would hope to, is another type of punishment all together.

[Lyn Anderson]

Yes. It is a double edged sword. I suppose if it were a word thrown around but never said to one person it would be unbearable, but if it is just always unsaid to everyone, it isn't about an inability to love, but a fear of the words themselves and how they might bring about disaster when every loved one has died or left ... the lack of saying somehow prevents the hurt to one, but is difficult for the other.

[angel]

Amen. I had a love, and I never said "I love you" to him, although I did.He made love to me, but he never said it either; not to me. He had a wife, and a mutual friend says he said it to her--on the phone--regularly. He was my other half, but I wasn't his. He was older and had found his love when I was 15 and too young for him. Once was old enough, he was too much in love already.
It really hurt, and now, almost forty five years later, it still does.
I WAS something, though.
I was his solace; that was all he needed.

[Lyn Anderson]

Interesting. Thank you so for sharing. The complicated ways we humans think and love and interact.

[Coyote Poetry]

The things we didn't do, the things we didn't say. Things, we shall regret. I do understand this poem. I am at the back-side of my life. I would of been kinder and loved more. Thank you Lyn for sharing the amazing poetry and your thoughts.
Coyote

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you so much. I appreciate it

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome Lyn.

[Einstein Noodle]

ohhhhhhhhh well done Lyn ... well done .. i was captivated in reading .. love the enjambments .. read it out loud to myself .. and so melancholy in closing ..yes .. we are still people of worth though not chosen .. its the dishonest person that can not be empathetic and kind .. parting is many times painful .. but truly the things that were the attractions remain in each .. if wanted ... a golden friendship can ensue ... but we are fragile creatures aren't we :( bravo my friend ...thanks for sharing
E.

[Lyn Anderson]

That we are. Thank you

[Dr. YumnaKay]

"beneath the makeup
of my smile ..."
I love that expression. And your poem definitely speaks to me..sometimes we do need to hear certain things, if anything, for the sake of keeping ourselves sane...
Such a lovely, emotional piece of writing, Lyn. And oh, that song has been my favourite these days :D

[Lyn Anderson]

Thanks so much. Me too

[Chris Shaw]

Some people just can't express themselves well. You can forgive them for that if their actions speak louder than words. However, you've got a problem if they can't recognise your insecurities and make you feel cared for. Your lines Lyn, perfectly expressed.

Chris

[Lyn Anderson]

Ah yes, you express it so well. Most days the actions are enough, but every once in a while a word or two seems apropos.

[Chris Shaw]

Of course. I've got one of those at home too :)

[Jon Roggie]

This reminds me of a friend. Always the wrong time, and we both know it. So we hesitate, and years later, we both wonder.

[Lyn Anderson]

There are reasons people are the way they are. Some need words, and some cannot say them. Not sure either is right. Just is. Thanks

[Papaya]

the words are needed. they are needed so that we know.
but they are needed with the actions they represent.

[Lyn Anderson]

There are those who say, and those who do, and every once in a while, those who say what they do. Often, the latter cannot reconcile with the former.