Suffer your Requiem

revenge isn't a way to live one's life

You cannot be here beside me,

instead, you hide in them.

Your words they spit; your blows they hit ...

your vengeful requiem.

 

Our past is dead, put it to bed,

they need not endure more.

Don't be obtuse, this is abuse;

it's you, you do this for.

 

Right now, you may think you have sway,

but children grow and learn.

One day your lies will open eyes;

your deeds are what you'll earn.

 

Not sure why yet, you still don't get,

more than vows make a home.

It's they who lose, if forced to choose;

alone then, you will roam.

 

----------------------------------

The form used in this poem is

"Double down"

Created by

Richard W. Jenkins

© 1 Apr 1987

 

Any number of 4-line verses about anything:

Aligned left or centered.

 

Syllable count per verse:

4-4/6/4-4/6

 

Rhyme scheme

xxxaxxxa

xxxxxb

xxxcxxxc

xxxxxb

 

xxxdxxxd

xxxxxe

xxxfxxxf

xxxxxe

Author's Note

Reviews

[barleygirl]

Sometimes poets tackling an intricate form seem to write with less intensity, as if more focused on form than message. That's why I love seeing how your writing stays bright & sparkling, so that this form is just a sideline enjoyment while your message takes center stage. Nobody writes about relationships the way you do. Love how you express your truths (((HUGS))) fondly Margie

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you so much. I press delete if form overwhelms the message. I do find it a challenge, and I enjoy the end result when it's done even if it frustrates me from time to time

[Lorry]

This really flows so well, so thanks for the description of the form. But this will hit home to many, for more reasons than we can care to give thought to. We all know people we realise we never truly know, but they usually give their selfishness away at some point, where they continue to make others suffer, rather than even acknowledge they were even part of the problem, if not all. It is only when one sees for ourselves that continuation of what they are, long after their welcome has been worn, that we can realise that we never really knew them at all, or we got to know them too well.

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you for the review and the thoughts. Apparently I have some technical aspects lost in translation it will be up for revision

[jacob erin-cilberto]

we cannot force people to love us...and abuse is certainly not the way...and what we reign on others, the terror...it will come back to haunt us twofold.

Well done, Lyn.
j.

[Lyn Anderson]

Thanks so much for stopping by this piece

[charlie]

You did it. Well done, Lyn.
And line 8 is wise in its assertion: "it's you, you do this for."
I might also add that they may do it for themselves, but they do it too themselves, also. As John Donne wrote: "No man is an island, entire of itself..."
I admire your discipline and the subject chosen in this poem. And that there is no polly waffle, or dancing 'round the bush. Some poems deserve to be very direct, and the form you've opted for supports that intention strongly.

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you kindly. I like to stretch my abilities, particularly when dealing with something that is of a serious or personal nature. Richard and I have a certain rapport borne of his exacting teaching and I enjoy the use of his original forms. I struggled with iambic pentametre in sonnets, and wrote some decent pieces with patience and guidance. We should never be closed to learning something new or we whither. :)

[Neville]

This is gonna smart like hell.... the pen being mightier than the sword springs to mind... don't it just.. Nice one........ N

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you very much. I like to confine my thought to a new form once in awhile

[Neville]

Neva gonna be boring are ya..... Neville

[Lyn Anderson]

I don't think so :)