you don't deserve a capital

no big C for you

you don't deserve 

a capital,

you are not worthy 

of the deference

we give you.

today i learned 

you were not inside the man 

who has become 

my sanctuary

another culprit

was quietly

masquerading

in your stead.

we traded an oma for an osis,

radiation and chemo, 

for a series of investigations

and endless  "ecialists"...

we were happy 

to do it,

as illogical 

as that may be

for some reason,

any chronic anything

seems less frightening

than the one

that starts with "c"

Author's Note

Reviews

[Cassie]

You are such a good poet, your poetry is becoming an addiction. This is so good, loved the ending especially

[Lyn Anderson]

thank you. I am honoured. I haven't been here in a long time

[Neville]

Is this a coincidence or what..... spooky eh.... certainly cerebral enough to make one think and bloomin good on every other account.... N

[Lyn Anderson]

You are too kind. Thanks for the extended visit:)

[Neville]

because your worth it..

[Onlyme]

Well said and spot on. I do agree
also glad to hear you hubby is cancer free

[Lyn Anderson]

I know you are contending with your own diagnostic woes. I do appreciate your stopping in.

[Onlyme]

no problem, glad your hubby is good, that is wonderful news. ☺

[Lyn Anderson]

Well, no cancer, but a long haul of chronic illness... but he's optimistic, that's half the battle

[Onlyme]

being optimistic helps a whole lot.

[redzone]

it is great that he doesn't have cancer.... cancer is an ugly disease and all forms are nothing to fool with even when in 'remission'.... but then no 'osis' is worthy of any capitalization either as many are also life threatening or debilitating.... then there are those that have neither an 'osis' or am 'oma' that eat you alive from the inside... like diabetes... you don't die of diabetes, just the list of other things that are affected by diabetes... or like alzheimers that slowly shuts down your brain.... none of these deserve our giving them a capital letter, except to say they are HATED DISEASES....

like everyone has acknowledged below, you are a noteworthy POET and deserving of those capitals letters… it is the way you write, yes, but I also think it's the way you look at life.... inspiring to all who read and know you through your words...

[Lyn Anderson]

Too kind my friend, onward we soldier into the great world of multiple medical ecialists - always handy to have a translator of medical gobbelygook who is willing to hold your hand ...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

trading down or trading up when it comes to disease...we deal with it best we can...and give it no reverence...it only has harmful intentions...we have to be strong against it.

i agree with Margie on the unique way you present...you are a joy to read---i am inspired.
j.

[Lyn Anderson]

Thanks so much. I am truly humbled, I admire your work.

[barleygirl]

I love the unique way you take a look at things many people may write about, but nobody ever approaches each topic in the startling ways you do. I never understood how people are so freaked out by cancer when there are so many other ailments that can crush people constantly for decades. I'd rather die of cancer than watching how some are forced to live (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you thank you for that. It is how I wanted it to come across exactly. In reality, one might be facing a much more daunting chronic illness, but the idea of cancer frightens us so much. However, since I do strongly believe that half the battle is believing there is a way, then if a person cannot face that diagnosis, another is preferable, if only to make whatever treatment is offered more successful.

[barleygirl]

Amen, sista-friend *smile*

[Lorry]

When I found out as a child what it was, which was whispered rather than said back then, I wondered what kind of monster it must be to be so fearfully spoken, by grown adults. Now that I know what lind of monster it is, we still give it other names to hide behind, still in hushed tones.
It is a bully, who doesnt care of age, strength or class. Hopefully one day medicine will make it a footnote, but until then, many more will feel the terror its name brings.
Your words are beautiful, full of a softness, which can only scream through your mind, leaving dread in its wake.
Thankfully, there is relief, of sorts, in ruling it out, but as your words show, it leaves ripples where its been.
Hope the other thing is dealt with as speedily as possible and a full recovery is the icing on the cake.

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you for your words. I appreciate it.

[Chris Shaw]

There are many who recover from the big C, but it manages to instill fear. Been through it myself as have many in my family. Some survived, some died. It is a cruel disease and can rob you of every last drop of energy, bring you to your knees. It touches,nearly every family you meet nowadays. I sense the relief you feel in your lines, even though your "sanctuary" still has other issues to face. Your lines, well composed, understandable and perfectly relatable Lyn.

Chris

[Lyn Anderson]

Thanks for that. Relief, yes, in that treatment is only as good as the patient's attitude, and the belief that it will work. So, if a chronic illness seems less scary, then the treatment will be more successful. I know many people who looked "6 months to live" square in the eye and are still here with us, seven or more years later. Cancer is not always a death sentence, but if we've lost love ones to it, we tend to think it the worst of the ills. Thank you for reading and sharing

[Chris Shaw]

I wish you both well and strength for dealing with any illness diagnosed.

[Jon Roggie]

Good start. This makes me think of one of my niece's first Christmas. Chemo at nine months, and worries ongoing. I gave her a teddy bear. Different coloring than usual. She got home a day before the Eve. She grabbed the bear. I sent her a new bear for her 18th. It gets to hang out with the first.

[Lyn Anderson]

Yes. One thing we oft forget is that childhood cancers we're better at beating even though that is one we truly fear. I think kids get through because that's all they know how to do. They're not jaded yet. A friend of mine is on his third go round since his teens. He is, today, happy and counting his blessings.

[Gee]

Firstly I'm glad it's not the big one, secondly I hope that whatever it is can be shooed off with the right treatment.
Over the years cancer has been turned into this MASSIVE life grabbing ogre, we as a society somehow need to tone this down, make it less fearful, call it " Colin" or " Cindy " instead.
Truly hope all is well with you both.

[Lyn Anderson]

Thanks so much for the review and good thoughts