Welcome to The Soviet republic of Camerica

How Justin lost his shirt over the world's largest undefended border

"He's pretty,"

said Donald.

 

"Agreed,"

said Vlad,

"But what I really want,

Is Justin's pad."

 

"Not all of it,

dear comrade,

surely you must see,

there's quite enough

for us to have,

from sea to shining sea."

 

The north and west is full of trees,

and mineable soil,

diamonds, pipelines, bees,

and frackable fields of oil;

 -- riches a'plenty

some for you, and some for me.

I'll keep Justin busy,

you know he likes his parties --

a presidential suite for him & the little miss,

while Canadians pay for his two nannies,

as you work your magic to dismiss

those pesky ancestral treaties.

 

The east already 

sells us power for cheaper

than we can make it,

at that price dear Vlad,

you are very

welcome to take it.

We can hand over Manitoba,

and Whistler would be a nice reward,

so Justin can keep his snowboard.

we'll send him back to Ottawa --

with some fine Vancouver weed,

there's nothing there we need.

 

As for those Canadians,

they just aren't into rebellions,

we both know they are too polite

To put up a serious fight."

Author's Note

I couldn't help myself.

Reviews

[The Twin Arenas]

For the record, in the War of 1812, America attempted an invasion of Canada and failed because they were too scared of our wilderness.

F**k Trump, and f**k the American piece of s***s who think it'll all work out. It won't. You'd forgotten fear, so you elected a fascist. And now you will remember.

[Lyn Anderson]

Nice to see you. Let's hope something scares him away. Thanks for reviewing.:)

[barleygirl]

I love your sarcastic imagination here . . . I can't decide whether to laugh or cry! Most of all, I'm just totally envious of your ability to come up with this great little vignette between world leaders, throwing caustic digs without coming across bitter or angry, like so many do. The playfulness of your approach is what's so wicked about this scary commentary! Good rhyme & excellent details. It's hard to write about the details of our political scene these days becuz every day brings another train wreck we couldn't have imagined, making whatever we wrote yesterday obsolete! *wink! wink!* (((HUGS)))

[Lyn Anderson]

Thanks for popping in on my little scenario. I wish I could say it is pure fantasy, but, as a Canadian, whose only protection against the Soviets has always been the U.S., the idea of Donald negotiating away our sovereignty while my P.M. tokes up and hits the slopes doesn't seem all that implausible, given his penchant for partying and vacationing, and jetting away to private islands owned by the head of an association that gets billions from our federal government ...

[barleygirl]

For some strange reason, your clarification made me think of a new possible storyline . . . these unsavory leaders are chasing some ultimate pleasure or power trip, so they all climb aboard a magic rocket & the story ends up with their demise, which we all celebrate . . .

[Lyn Anderson]

hmm, maybe you should cook that one up ...

[barleygirl]

By the way, I forgot to mention . . . our 24-hour cable news stations are clogged with news about the latest outrageous thing Trump did or said or tweeted, so that we barely ever get any real news, like what's the latest terrorist attack around the world, etc. HOWEVER, YOUR PRESIDENT's shenanigans actually managed to penetrate the "ALL TRUMP, ALL THE TIME" news fascination in our country! *wink! wink!*

[Lyn Anderson]

Yeah, our Prime Minister is a real trend setter, that one. I will take back the stodgy sweater vest who cared about the economy, and no one from the U.S. even knew who he was ...

[Paul Bell]

Trudeau, Angela Merkel. Pretty boy doesn't know what day it is. Angela has just inherited the whole of Europe. Good luck to both of them.

[Lyn Anderson]

Good point, as always.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Ha! you deconstruct your own President and your country under an intriguing title and weave in the two conspirators who aim to carve up the world between them. Humorous and topical and very entertaining in its sardonic wit.

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you. Prime Minister Trudeau is a drama teacher who has a fine pedigree and looks okay with his shirt off -- that's all it takes to win an election in Canada.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Celebrity is master and sex sells. What can I say?

[Chris A Jones]

lol! Way to put a spin on the state of politics today. Love it.

[Lyn Anderson]

Thanks! I had a discussion with someone about Trump and they brought up him starting a war. He doesn't need a war to take over us -- we are Bambi sandwiched between Godzilla and King Kong.

[Chris A Jones]

Good point!