Victoria's Secret

on a conversation with Lydia regarding her poem "even now" Hoping it's okay to post without the Mature Rating -- no explicit language or content

I knew an old lady,

Victoria was her name,

But she preferred Vicky.

She was closer to 80,

But, with skin so elasticky

She looked 60, just the same.

Over the hill

And nearer the end,

She seemed to have

Many a friend.

Oddly enough, I noticed,

Most of them were men ...

 

They say there's nothing

She couldn't do,

She jumped right

Out of a plane,

I think at the time,

She was 82.

 

A few months later,

Give or take a day,

Her libido undaunted,

She died like she wanted,

Atop a young lad,

No need to feel sad.

 

The funeral was wild,

Not surprisingly, Miss Vicky,

Was the talk of the town,

A whole lot of smiles,

But among the young men,

Not a dry eye around.

 

Lying in state,

In her pink lingerie,

Her age was revealed, finally!

In a moving 5 page eulogy,

She was just a few days shy

of 103 ...

Author's Note

I tweaked this a bit. Not too often a writer can inadvertently drag two famous names into one piece -- Both were honestly, the only thing that fit. The author of this piece wishes to offend neither a potato chip company nor a famous lingerie chain -- but honestly, I am broke, so a law suit would be a waste of time.

Reviews

[Paul Bell]

What a way to go. A hundred and three down on her knees.

[Sarah]

Clever poem with humor in it. Can't find too many of those anymore!

[Lyn Anderson]

Thanks Sarah, for popping in. I admire women bold enough to put their pics up. I prefer a p***y pic to repel trolls.

[Sarah]

You should try it sometime :) won't hurt!

[barleygirl]

Very clever portrait of an enviable lady . . . so many of your word pictures bring each scenario alive with mirth & longing & admiration. I especially love the imagination regarding lying in state in pink lingerie . . . such a fitting send-off! *smile*

[Lyn Anderson]

If I have any say and my kids respect my wishes, my funeral will be anything but somber.:)

[Lydia Shutter]

Giggling here.....103 and still going strong. Dying on top of a sexy hunk...hey, what could be bad? :) There's nothing she couldn't do because she BELIEVED she could do it...and that makes all the difference. Loved this, KL. Glad our little chat helped with inspiration! Lydi**

[Lyn Anderson]

I had fun writing it. On a more serious note, I have plans to go skydiving with my mom -- the goal would be next year, after my car accident injuries are sufficiently healed. She said, "Will people think I am crazy?" I said, "yeah, so what?"

[Lydia Shutter]

Your mom is smart....she will live her life to the fullest always. Tell her crazy is a good thing! My best friend's mom went sky diving when she was 85. People told her it could kill her. She said, "I am going to die anyway. Might as well enjoy it." :)

[Lyn Anderson]

Of course, it didn't kill her, but if it did, seriously? I could think of only one or two better ways to go ;)

[Lorry]

What a way to go. Not dissimilar to my own hopes of being taken by a drug fuelled, sex heart attack :)

[Lyn Anderson]

Passing in my sleep? Nah. A heart attack should have a worthwhile precursor.

[Lorry]

It should, and it should be written on the death certificate in bold too :)

[Shannon]

Oh, my. Very funny!

I feel like there is some awkwardness here:
Vicky was, not surprisingly

[Lyn Anderson]

Hey. I tweaked it for rhyme -- it works better, despite the fact I dragged a chip company into it.

[Shannon]

Lol lingerie and chips. Perfect! It does flow way better!

[Lyn Anderson]

Thanks for the help, sister.:)

[Shannon]

Any time! Still makes me laugh.

[Jon Roggie]

I knew a lady like this, and though there was no coital mix, she had her three Jons.

[Lyn Anderson]

ha ha ha. You are an original, that is for sure.

[Jon Roggie]

I was the third. I feel you would have liked the lady.

[Papaya]

I might like to be this old lady one day if I'm single at that age.
She sounds fun. :)

[Lyn Anderson]

Thanks. I just noticed that annoying transfer font glitch. Uggh. Anyway, I think I will definitely be this old lady -- cause let's face it, even if I get married again, he'll be dead.:)

[Papaya]

Odds are, yeah... There ya go. That's looking on the bright side. :)