Spit, or Swallow?

ten words I give contest tourist, grind, perforate, aquarium, abridge, frame, serve, score, effort, lease

 

Her photo tucked neatly

In a wooden frame,

It took a monumental effort,

For him to just get out of bed.

Searching for a way to abridge

whatever phase of grief he had reached

How many days had it been?

According to the experts,

He should be someplace

Different by now.

Bits of coffee,

Sticking in his teeth.

Spit or Swallow?

I told her not to buy the fine grind.

Was God up there, somewhere,

Keeping score?

He pulled high his knee socks,

Slipped into his birkenstocks.

His need to perforate holes

In the wall of grief around him

Would serve as an impetus

To renew the lease

On the life he once knew.

She loved the aquarium,

Her hair was strawberry,

In colour, and scent.

Random thoughts floating

To the surface

As he wandered the streets.

Hopelessly lost,

A tourist,

on the outside

of his broken heart.

Author's Note

use the following words in a poem -- for the ten words I give contest
tourist, grind, perforate, aquarium, abridge, frame, serve, score, effort, lease

Reviews

[Shoshana]

!
-S

[Lyn Anderson]

What? Thank you I guess?

[Alfred Kukitz]

Kudos on the write, conception and metaphors. This is a poem you want to read more and more, the only problem it runs out of lines.

Regards,
Al

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you so much. This is my favourite I wrote for this particular challenge.

[Alfred Kukitz]

Love those lips! Kiss kiss!

[Kallie Quist]

"a tourist on the outside of his own heart" is SO GOOD! Very ingenuitive use of the words you had to work with

[Lyn Anderson]

Thanks again. I love these word challenges.

[FJ Davis]

Clever use of allotted words.
Novel and entertaining notions.
Snappy last three lines complete an outstanding read!

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you for stopping in. I appreciate you taking the time to leave your thoughts.

[Corset]

one of my favorites written by you, it has a certain edge that wows, that's really your niche, forming words around words provided, excellent work.

[Lyn Anderson]

Thanks, funny, I find it's one of my faves too - yes - a story around a set of words does work for me.

[Corset]

not easy for a lot of folks, nice work.

[Ken Simm.]

I'm probably way off base with my intepretation. I keep thinking of Scott Walkers songs. But aside from that I find the word usage here simply superb and extremly evocative.

[Lyn Anderson]

Not knowing who Scott Walker is, I couldn't tell you. This is a poem of grief and loss, Lydia's review is probably the closest to what was going through my mind as I wrote it.

[Ken Simm.]

One of the Walker brothers. The song No Regrets of The Sun Don't shine Anymore is what I'm hearing. But as I said I'm probably way off base. Still feel this is a very powerful write.
I've just read Lydi's review as well.

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

One leaves that grief in time however that annoyance of wonder will never cease to pound at you, well done, good read.

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you for picking this piece. I appreciate the review. :)

[barleygirl]

Very interesting collection of thoughts & actions as he bumbles thru the various aspects of grief & loss . . . kind of disjointed sounding, as one's thoughts might be at a time like this. When I read the title, I was on a completely different track, reminded of an oral session from way back, when I had nothing to wash it down. Your use of the selected words is seamless & not even noticeable except for the bold font. Love this: "His need to perforate holes In the wall of grief around him"

[Lyn Anderson]

Thanks. I really do like these contests. The bold font is the one downside, but I understand it makes it easier for her to judge the poems. Were I to publish them elsewhere, I would remove the bold type face. And, yeah, the title was intentionally misleading. :)

[Paul Bell]

Great poem, you feel the poor guys loss, and sad to say, you sort of want him to join her.

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you so much. The 10 words I give contest is my favourite on this site.

[Paul Bell]

Sort of learning as I get along on this site. Glad you managed to get abridge in.

[Inject Positivity]

You have used those words to create perfection... Loved the way you have created an emotional thought provoking write with those words... The poem speaks clearly... Very well done...

Sincerely
Dhiman

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you very much. I do admit I am pleased with the results of this challenge.