Never take advice from a crocodile

a sonnet to thee may be exactly what it seems

A Sonnet I cannot for you compose,

Mere truth concealing makes the name,

A flower I create then will impose,

Invoking false emotion is the game,

Exuberantly youthful charming smile,

The lectures harsh on what I may improve,

The weeds do hide the wily crocodile,

A fool be I to heed a cry to move,

Facts obfuscate your pretense to be kind,

Advice unsought begets insult, and hurt,

The terms are flat, denying truth behind,

Unseemly smugness covers light in dirt,

Words insincere lend fellow poet, not,

Will choke on rhyme before you know your lot.

Author's Note

many thanks to Richard for his help http://www.writerscafe.org/RichardJ

Reviews

[barleygirl]

Thank you for reminding me why I've always been intimidated by sonnets (both reading & writing) . . . I'm honestly not a fan of this convoluted Shakespearean sound, altho I realize you've done a great job of composing this sonnet to conform to all the subtle requirements, not just rhyme & meter, which is all I'm good for, myself! *smile* I simply can't understand very much of this . . . *sigh*

[Lyn Anderson]

That's ok, darling, it's a tough thing - the iambic pentametre - and Shakespear had no equal, in my opinion. His ability to land a literary punch to a foe was unmatched - this is my humble attempt at such.

[Jon Roggie]

Brutal. Still, I like it.

[Lyn Anderson]

yeah, I was in a mood. One thing for sure, this particular style lends itself well to harsh barbs.

[Jon Roggie]

I feel it comes down to the rhythm, and if you want to disguise your feelings.
We know how to use words, and it only depends how.

I keep feeling like I am on a flipping soapbox....

[Lyn Anderson]

funny, someone in my life "out there" recently accused me of slandering/libel -- umm, guilty conscious says I, since there is no reason to believe fiction is about you unless it rings true.:)

[Jon Roggie]

For some reason, I can't help hearing "You're so vain".

[Pryde Foltz]

A tough view taken on another poet here but the writing is superb and the metaphor rich. You are one of best on this site without a doubt:)

[Lyn Anderson]

Really? I am sincerely flattered. The sonnet has been under my skin for a bit, and Richard has been so amazing to help me along the way. I only hope to get better and better in all my poems, whatever the format. A compliment from you I truly take to heart, because I love your presentations.

[Richard🖌]

"CONGRATULATIONS, KL, ON A JOB VERY WELL DONE!"

Sonneteer⁓*
-—···—····—···—····—······—····—······—····—······—····—-
This Sonneteer knows what she is about,
that every line she poses wields a barb.
Each iamb smites and castigates this lout,
whom dared try dress her in poetic garb.
She kicked, she screamed, escape became her goal;
there was no turn she did not pull away.
Pentameters, flowed vile all through her soul;
yet, from the challenge never did she sway.
Such metal in her blood rang strong and true,
upon the anvil of resolve she forged …
determined (with persistence) to come through,
’til each and every word had been disgorged.
As her last touch of pen-strokes crossed the page,
I heard proclaimed, “'Sonnets' — my new rage!”
-—···—····—···—····—······—····—······—····—······—····—-
Richard W. Jenkins
©2016

"Chatting" with you is its own reward, KL. : )
thanks for the fun and honorable mention! ⁓ Richard

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you kind sir, and when I get good enough at it, I shall compose one just for you. But MAYbe some free verse first! :) blessings and all that - p.s. that its really is your glitch (it's the only thing I can catch you on):)

[Richard🖌]

LOL!
Thanks for the reminder; I have no idea why I've begun doing that "it's" thingy … it used to be one of my pet peeves!
Oh, how honored I'd be to receive one of your Sonnets, just for me. : )

[Lyn Anderson]

Their for there or they're is mine, along with my missing or added apostrophe thing. Sometimes, it is autocorrect and spell check that makes people think it should be there.

[Jacquelene Vanessa More..]

this is gorgeous, I adore your use of vocabulary. You can tell you chose your words very carefully, so beautifully written!

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you very much, I had fun with it, expanding my horizons as it were.

[Papaya]

Your muse gave you some fine words for this one.
Incredible poem, wow. Like Christopher Walken wow.

[Lyn Anderson]

Why thank you my lady. It is a challenge for sure, but one I am beginning to enjoy. Next on to a little trochee number I have humming in the background. I have found a new endeavour, to make a modern bit of form true to me.

[Papaya]

Well you just go and get rights on its then. If you say that fast it sounds like sonnets.
In my fast forward brain it does anyway... I am going to have to google trochee now. :D

[V]

This is a really good write. I'm amazed at your choice of words and how you seemed so effortlessly manage to keep the structure of a sonnet. I stay away from strict forms, I cannot do them but you did a great job.

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you, it isn't easy to keep your personality inside the strict structure of a sonnet. I had a lot of guidance on both my recent sonnets from Richard, who teaches poetry and is very patient and helpful. The difference for me is constructing a poem in a few minutes, or in puzzling over pieces for a couple of days. It literally takes that long to find a phrase that fits.

[V]

I can imagine. You did very well with the structure. You're welcome.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you are good at this...this is the true form, but with such a wry smile...

yes those hiding in the weeds, to eat our hearts and spit them out, then swim away...

really like this one...and i am not a form fan at all...

j.

[Lyn Anderson]

Why thank you very much -- I am only a fan of Shakespeare, and maybe half a dozen other great classic writers -- the only way I could do it was try to capture that sarcastic wit, or the form would feel dry, and pasty.

[redzone]

I wrote one sonnet and Browning, Shelley, Shakespear, and others rolled over in their graves.. true story, so I am a stranger to sonnets, KL... therefore, I can only comment on the subject matter, ohmy is this allowed??!!... (in humor as I jest)... actually, it is a good sonnet KL (no jest here) and makes me feel like I want to set fire to tall grass so no crocs can hide there...

one other thing I was thinking was that movie "The Dead Poets Society"... they tore up that first page of that pedantic nonsense about what is poetry, unfortunately I do believe there was a croc outside the window and it ate all those silly pages and memorized them by rote... oh boy!! and the problem is that now this croc is teaching that poetry class... lol I always thought allegories had sharp teeth, now I know for sure...

KL, once again your poetry in what ever form makes me FEEL and think... thank you...

redzone

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you darling. While form poetry is not my method of choice, there is always a method to my madness. :) I do believe that deceit comes in many forms, and here, with this sonnet, I tried to hold to Shakespeare's tradition of wit and sarcasm and trading barbs with his clever wordage. He was, of course, the master, and I, a fledgling student, however, there is something extremely satisfying about this type of delivery.

[redzone]

true, true and the internal meter adds to this I thnk as well... I am not sure I ever posted that sonnet I wrote..hmmm maybe I will risk angering the masters of sonnet!!! lol...

[Alfred Kukitz]

Be you sonnet of womenhood bound I hear your words aloud and sound. If you should shed a tear for thee I beg your mercy so I can be kind to thee.


Regards,
Al

[Lyn Anderson]

yes, dear Alfred, you are smart enough to know the only thing more deadly than a smiling crocodile is the woman who sees him hiding in the weeds.