21 more days

written for a contest must start with "He was there, standing in the doorframe, scars and new cuts covered his body, he glared at me"

*Warning. Although there is nothing explicit about this story, it contains strong language and themes of abuse.

He was there, standing in the doorframe, scars and new cuts covered his body, he glared at me. "Tell me who you are f*****g," he said, menacingly. I was barely awake. Barely conscious of what had just happened. One minute I was sleeping. The next minute my door was being banged and wrenched open. And there he was, accusing me.

My first coherent thought was what about the kids? My next thought was a mix of anger and terror. Is this it? Is this the night he finally decides to kill me? I sat up in bed, trying to formulate words that would make sense in this situation. "The kids are sleeping, I have to work in the morning, and you are not being logical," I said, as calmly, and icily as I could.

I guess he thought that shaking me awake in the middle of the night would make me confess to whatever it was he imagined I was doing now. Yes, a*****e, all day long, whenever I get the chance, I get banged. You had your chance, you blew it, and now we are getting divorced. Deal with it like a grown up instead of acting like you own me. The shock value of such a statement, whether or not it was true, may very well have landed me in the hospital, or the morgue. "Get out of my room," I said. "Unlike you, one of us has to work to pay the bills."

The door was hanging off its hinges. The injuries on my husband's hands and body were from slamming against the door and prying it open in his rage. He wasn't used to the me who kept my cool. The one who didn't panic and cower in terror. He mumbled under his breath. "I know you are lying to me. I know there is someone else." I ignored him, and turned over. He left the room without further incident. A broken door could be fixed. I had avoided being screamed at, shaken, pushed around, raped.

My husband's ego just couldn't grasp the fact that I was done with him. I was finished with the anger, the abuse, the lies and the stealing. There had to be someone else. That was the only thing that made sense to his warped mind. 21 more days and he would be gone. I only hoped the kids and I could wait that long ...

Author's Note

The contents of this story are fictitious. Any resemblance to real events or persons, is purely coincidental.

Reviews

[Ted Kniffen]

Very good, KL. A realistic story with a good perspective. You showed a protagonist with strength.
A good write

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you so much. I appreciate it.

[Paul Bell]

There has to be someone else, otherwise you wouldn't be dumping me. Egos Man's downfall.
How you doing.

[Lyn Anderson]

Hey. I missed this review. Thank you so much. Doing okay. Computer problems aside.

[Dante Carlisle]

Excellent approach. I love that you showed so simply that it takes nothing more than standing up to someone to take away their power. Well portrayed.

[Lyn Anderson]

I appreciate the review. I have been absent from the Cafe' as of late, but will be sure to check out your writing.

[Dante Carlisle]

I understand perfectly. It's been too long since I've been on here, so I'm working to get more involved after releasing my second novel. I realized I needed to get back to the roots of writing again, and this serves as a great place for it.

[V]

A well-written story about abuse and finally being able to get out of it. I like the hope in this rather dark piece. Unfortunately I can partly relate to the terror of such a relationship.. Unfortunately many women have to go through this and it's great if they have the strength and courage to leave.

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you very much, too many women can.

[V]

Yes...you're welcome.

[no more]

Really good. I'd suggest either pulling "coherent" from the second graph or use use a modifier to describe the next thought.

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you. I will take it under advisement.

[no more]

Wonderful ability to bring us into the story, and into the room.

[Quinn W]

I loved your story and the 21 days line. i thought it was written really well. It's amazing how you pack so much emotion into such a short story! Really loved it!

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you. Short stories are something I really enjoy.

[Einstein Noodle]

my very fine friend ..in reading this you have my heart ...my wonderful Norma escaped from just such a man ..i hear her story as often as she has need to tell it ... as a short story i think it is excellent ..i read every word ..no trying to hurry .. i was place there first outside with a raging man ..then inside with a transforming woman ..with victory on the horizon ... cuts close to my home and heart KL .. well done!
E.

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you my darling. I like this piece very much, for many reasons. Principally because it is the small victories -- the abuser lives on fear, and eats it -- when the abused stands up, the abuser loses his power.

[Einstein Noodle]

yes!!!! yes!!! love and hugs, peace and joy to you ... :)

[barleygirl]

WOW! I could feel the tension and I was genuinely fearing for this narrator . . . even tho you describe her as "the me who kept my cool" . . . to me, this was much more provoking than I would have the courage to muster in the face of such an angry violent monster at my broken-down door. This is a realistic vignette and I feel you've infused some of your past experience into it. I really like reading your prose pieces.

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you, very much it makes it easy to envision a certain scene if you have been in a certain place. Thank you, that tension, that snippet of "real" is what I was going for.

[redzone]

you have taken the "challenge" sentence and turned it into a story that is fictitious and also resembling the fate of far too many woman everywhere... when I lived in Philly I rode a bus home that dropped me off 2 blocks from my house and I walked passed a house set back some from the street... in this house lived a young woman, her little girl and her mother... one evening, her ex came by, broke in and as they 3 women sat eating dinner, he shot them dead... when he was picked up later that night, he said "she was sleeping with someone else and if I can't have her, no one else can either".... my story is not fiction and this "idea" of ownership is promoted in many forms including in many songs and movies... and also not fiction is the tale that all this bull s**t must end...

You wrote a very powerful story with this sentence KL, creative as well as horrific even if in the story the woman was "left alive" this night...

redzone

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you for sharing and I look forward to reading your piece.

[redzone]

don't think I will write this story beyond what is written here KL, just meant that your story was fiction while what I mentioned was not... the events and the quote was carried in the Philly newspapers... sorry for being confusing...

[Lyn Anderson]

oh I see. Yes. Well, these stories are unfortunately too common.