your words are like hospital jello

meaningless drivel that popped into my head -- for barley girl, and kale, whom I do not know, but would like to know better.

Free flowing prose does not lack form nor intent.
It isn't hospital jello, not the kind in the cubes
with the deplorable skin. It doesn't lack shape
like red soup. There is purpose in its apparent
lack of structure. A goal in its string of words
looped across the page in a line. Words written
onto a page in a particular fashion with particular
emotion telling a particular story do not show
potential. Their potential has been realized,
and is splayed out, for the world to see. One of
my best pieces is a prose piece. Written after
a mad dream. There was no other way to write
it out but in one long stream
of consciousness.

amorphous words
lacking reason
careless thoughts
perhaps not meant
to be unkind
but glib and arrogant
nonetheless
have no place
at the table of
word epicureans
like jello has no place
in hospitals.

Author's Note

captcha misjoin
Melanie Martinez was rejected by main stream but still did it anyway

Reviews

[Bacchus]

Oh jello. Love this metaphor...
We feed it to the elderly instead of real things too.
Good one, friend.

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you very much. I appreciate you stopping by.

[Alfred Kukitz]

One can only get to the golden words by mining through the junk first.

Regards,
Al

[Lyn Anderson]

I hope that means you found what you were looking for.

[Alfred Kukitz]

While swimming I decided to dive deep!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

writing is like a good meal...and the entrees can be presented in many different ways...
and they can all taste good, even if they don't all look the same or have the same shape or form.

but then there is dessert...and jello moves in different ways and appears in different ways...and it goes down easy...that's why we find it in hospitals...

maybe sometimes our words need to be in the hospital to recover...or perhaps we need to be there to recover from writing them.

i like this poem, lots.

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you very much. I appreciate my conversations with barleygirl, and her ocd poem, which were co-inspired.

[Papaya]

We form and display our thoughts in a way that makes sense to us.
Not all poetry is for everyone.
Just like I hate orange and lemon jello, but I do LOVE lime and strawberry.
Love the jello, not all flavours. Did that make sense? Because to me it did.

[Lyn Anderson]

You make sense to me my friend, always.:)

[Papaya]

Phew. :)
I'm glad someone around here gets me.

[Lyn Anderson]

I am pretty sure a lot of people do.

[Papaya]

That's true. I'm not really that complex. :)

[barleygirl]

Great message! I love the way your approach is almost the opposite of mine, even tho we are saying essentially the same thing. That's the beauty of creative pursuits . . . & why there can be a million poems written about one topic, but each word-crafter approaches it differently. I love the way you use the "eating/food" analogy thru-out, especially in the final stanza, where this great word crafting is spot on: arrogance has no place at the table of word epicureans . . .

[Lyn Anderson]

Thanks darlin' - I loved yours too, and I so enjoy our discourse. If I can open my mind to look at all forms, then I I believe everyone is served by doing the same. It reminds me of your poem With all due respect - there is no respect in that statement. :)

[sharonlee]

Smiling... interesting piece... my poetry is all over ... some neat as a pin, some spewed across the page as if written under demonic possession.

I'm a bit of an aging hippy rebel and rarely like being told what to do.... or how to do it... things like Cinquain, Iambic pentameter, Quatrain etc just constrain me too much.

I don't mind a haiku from time to time and find haibun ok... but mostly I just go with the flow, rhyming, not rhyming, rhyming in the middle... raving on, as I have now... lol

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you. I sometimes feel I must help newer writers out. They need confidence building their own style, not backhanded compliments disguised as "constructive" reviews. We might let it roll off our backs, but others do not. Thank you for visiting again.:)

[sharonlee]

Your welcome... I always try to be positive to.
I'm off to bed... it's a dark cold winter night on my side of world and I've been battling the flu for 3 weeks now... finally feeling less like the walking dead and more like me.
I;ve enjoyed our interaction.

[barleygirl]

I'm pretty good at structure & rhyme & rhythm in my poems, but I literally BRISTLE when I hear these words: "Iambic pentameter" (or any other fancy meter labels) -- I'm always falling short of this mystical expectation from the self-appointed poetry police! *smile*

[Inject Positivity]

It's been more than 7 months since I have joined this website, and I have read more than thousands of writings most of them are poems... There are so many ways to write them, so if we do not how a particular writing has been written it's okay but that doesn't mean that writing has no flow or form, it has been written with a special purpose in mind... Whom am I to tell the poet that the poem has a great meaning and then write it off by saying "but you missed rhyming, and structure"... It only shows our lack of appreciation...

It's a very true write and carries the meaning what barleygirl said in her poem on OCD... I agree with you in all the points that you have made...

Sincerely
Dhiman

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you. This poem most definitely comes from a conversation with barleygirl, whom I mentioned in my comments, and also, in general, the reviews I have gotten, and reviews of other works I have read. Your visit is appreciated.

[Einstein Noodle]

i agree ..it is not so much the form but the content and flow (or strings) of words that either capture or not ..our imaginations, and emotions ... artists do it with pictures and conductors do it with sounds ;) a fine "hats off" to prose ... and your "hospital jello" is enviable ..very creative says i! knew just what you were talking about having worked in a hospital for years ... :) your title, however, is contrary to your content ... ???? i like Melanie's voice ... thanks for sharing it ..i am not in touch with main stream ..let alone ally ways and hidden off road lanes .. :)
E.
ps i most always brought my own lunch to work

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you very much. This piece was spawned by some reviews I have seen lately. I have had many such reviews over the years, but time and experience has helped me disregard them. For young writers though, who lack confidence, an off the cuff "this work shows great promise, despite its lack of form" -- I am paraphrasing here -- shows both arrogance and an unwillingness to appreciate forms other than the one the reviewer prefers. This is not, in my opinion, constructive reviewing. I once had someone chastise me for not capitalising, and say that my lack of rhyme was something "I needed to work on" -- I thought that was hilarious, and completely disregarded it -- however, this casual backhand compliment type of review is not helpful to new writers who are trying to find their own unique voice.:)

[Einstein Noodle]

you are a wonderful advocate my friend! i like all forms and from time to time do try a rigid approach .. it is hard to do anyway but for me ... so difficult to reign in that spontaneous urge .. but i think it is good practice because i have poems i love when i am done but have no clue myself what they are really about ..i have themes and points for sure but sometimes the love of words go astray ... i guess that is the weakness of free form poetry ... of course sometimes it doesn't matter as words take us on a certain glorious journey sparking images, fragrances and tactile stimulations with each line .. purpose enough ;)