an echo of my soul

a threeway collaboration with ~Papaya~ and Jon Roggie

  etched 

on the parchment of my past,

are the words

I cannot erase ... 

chronicles 

           of each moment

that designed who I am;

shaping my story

               and on the pages       

the empty spaces             

  are smoothed out
with time

leaving only footprints  --

                stories half-remembered

an echo
of my soul

in moments fleeting,

regrets never forgotten --

another bit
of writing ...

etched 

on the parchment of the past,

my ink remains, 

                    though paper

is dust.

Author's Note

Reviews

[West Lake Angel]

And so when I don't want to remember something I don't write it down in my journal, so that it doesn't become that written memory that I regret. I think this is a wonderful poem. Great work, guys!

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you for stopping in. We had fun writing it together.

[Timothy Ryan]

Thank you for sending the read request. This was a bland poem to me. It romanticized that really isn't that exciting. With that being said, good writing can take those mediocre ideas and make them good. You managed to do that in one of the lines "leaving only footprints --
stories half-remembered
an echo
of my soul"

Thank you for sharing, and I hope to see more work from you.

[Lyn Anderson]

Hello and thank you for reading. To be clear, I do not use read requests. This poem has been shared quite a lot since we wrote it. The blend of ideas is not one writer but three. I am not sure how to respond to this review, so I will leave it at that.

[Timothy Ryan]

That's probably how it got to me then. I left you speechless haha. It's alright, I feel the same way with certain reviews.

[Caradoc]

A gripping piece.

Edit: I think I want that final stanza on my headstone. "Etched on the parchment of the past, my ink remains, though paper is dust."

- Cara

[Lyn Anderson]

I am glad you liked it. It was surprisingly easy to work with two people. And that tombstone is many years away.

[Lucien Maier]

Nice, the formatting is really good and what pulled me through.
Good work

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you. The formatting was Ana's work. :)

[Papaya]

Thank you Lucien.

[Lydia Shutter]

This collaboration gave me goosebumps. When I read through old poetry of mine, I can remember exactly who, what, or where the inspiration came from. I remember how I felt and how sometimes putting the words on the parchment made me deal with it a little more easily. It is not easy to write a cohesive poem with three poets. You did it...and it is wonderful. Lydi**

[Lyn Anderson]

Thanks so much, the partners made it easy. And that, for me, is exactly what this poem is ...

[Jon Roggie]

Thank you. We had fun with this one.

[Papaya]

Hi Lydi, thank you. :)

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Life is just a speck in time... and every time we blink, hesitate or not take a risk we lose out on precious moments.

What a great collab between you three.

[Lyn Anderson]

Thanks. It was a blast. Think we will do it again.

[Jon Roggie]

Thank you. Now, we need to find another common theme. This one flowed.

[Papaya]

Thank you Dale!

[barleygirl]

This message is particularly meaningful to me, as I'm just now starting to find my voice to tell my story, without feeling the need to hide anything or react to any of it, but just telling the story of my life. You've done a seamless collaboration here that feels like reaching the peaceful place of acceptance, as I myself have done recently. So much excellent word crafting, I can't quote everything, but here goes: "parchment of my past" . . . "each moment that designed who I am" . . . and "regrets never forgotten" (some of my faves).

[Lyn Anderson]

Thanks. A collaboration is both challenging and exhilarating when like minded poets gel. :)

[Jon Roggie]

Thank you. For me, this felt easy. I came in late, so I just had to match my words to KL's and Papaya's. What was amazing was all of our styles seemed to blend. Also, KL is a great editor, as well as a writer. Papaya writes from her soul, and it shows. This was like winning the lottery.

[Papaya]

Thanks barleygirl, very kind words. My co-writers raised the bar and gave me the boost I needed. :)

[Shannon]

Reflection of each of us I think: our hopes, our fears.
Deftly penned, artfully restrained. Gorgeous piece of writing.

[Lyn Anderson]

I think the three of us were separated at birth on a distant planet. lol.:)

[Jon Roggie]

Ignore my friend. I feel many of us have all of the same thoughts, feelings, and doubts. Thank you.
Also, just to be honest, I don't think any of us thought this would be looked at so much.

[Shannon]

Lol. I will stay out of "family squabbles". But why would you not think it would be seen?

[Lyn Anderson]

Because all three of us write like mad, and often our pieces get lost in the shuffle.

[Shannon]

Ah, yes I only manage to read some....someone might have sent me a read request to make sure I didn't miss it. It was a good call on that friends part.

[Papaya]

That was me. :)
Thank you so much for popping over, and for the very nice things you say.

[Shannon]

I wasn't exactly going to rat you out. ☺
But you are very welcome.

[Jon Roggie]

We had each wrote something together. I threw out the idea all of us writing together. KL started with three lines I believe. Ana wrote the next. Meanwhile, my internet connection was down for a couple of days. They had been waiting for me. I wrote what felt natural. Ana asked if we should publish. I threw out a few more lines. Ana made some changes. KL made some changes. We ran with it.

[Jon Roggie]

Ana? Read requests? Now, it is all tainted! (How many responses did you get?)

[Shannon]

I really love the paired down aspect. I admire big ideas with few words.. Nice collaboration. I do have a small suggestion.

[Shannon]

Since it's on kl's page I may have seen it anyway...

[Jon Roggie]

We told you KL. What suggestion?

[Shannon]

The "I cannot erase" might sound better in passive voice. Something like "that cannot be erased". As always just an opinion.

[Lyn Anderson]

I can sort of see your point, however, even in poems, I like consistency, and the poem is not written in passive voice. In a story, though, it is generally more acceptable to write in passive voice.

[Jon Roggie]

I can see it, but I like the shift from a declaration to what feels like the thoughts running deep within. Granted, you have a couple more opinions to get! ;)

[Shannon]

And implies that it can't be changed by anyone. But one person's idea.

[Lyn Anderson]

you lost me a little there. anyhow, thanks for the banter, I am tired and must sleep. :)

[Lyn Anderson]

Ah! I literally had to sleep on it. the words are left, when nothing else is there --

[Shannon]

This is my favourite review I have ever been in. You are really quite the trio! Thanks.

[Coyote Poetry]

Beautiful and powerful thoughts in the poetry dear friend.
"etched
on the parchment of the past,
my ink remains,
though paper
is dust."
I liked the above lines. The writers bleed their wards to paper. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Jon Roggie]

I finally get to say something before my friends in the Great White North. This was so much fun. I am looking forward to trying another one. Thank you, sir.
Jon

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you very much. And Toronto and surrounding area is hardly the Great White North.:)

[Jon Roggie]

Compared to California? It was 108 degrees today. Wait, it wasn't Celsius degrees.

[Lyn Anderson]

It was 38 C here. That's 103 F. We get hot here. We just happen to get cold too.:)

[Jon Roggie]

That is why I want to move to the coast. Twenty degrees cooler, and I get to watch the waves.

[Papaya]

Thank you Coyote. :)

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome my dear friend.