you and me and her against the world

sometimes a song is a trigger

reminded:

a straight up rainbow
suspended
in a spring storm sky --

i breathe in the wind
and think of you,
your radiant face
under a summer sun
a halo of curls
laughing happily,
even as you fell down ...

it was you and me and her
as yet unborn;
us against the world.

i played along,
as the darkness
threatened --
applied the bandaids
and the warm hugs,
sheltered you both,
as much as I could.

it wasn't enough,
this thing now
i have to own.

forgive me daughters.
for I knew not then
what I came to understand.
a man can make a baby,
but making a baby,
can't make him
a man.          

Author's Note

Reviews

[V]

Started off lovely but with a sad twist. I like your choice of words. Nicely written and well done. Personal pieces can be hard to write.

I hope you're better off now and are able to protect your family.

[Lyn Anderson]

I am. But regrets are funny things. They come up and conk you over the head when you least expect it. If it resonates or helps one woman in a similar situation leave sooner rather than later, while the kids are too young to really see it, that would be reward for having written it.

[V]

I'm glad you are. I know about regret...
Sounds like a good advice for women in a similar situation.

[highonwords]

oh kl, i feel for you my friend - you are doing your best to be a mother to your children and a father, too, i think - you have enough baggage with you - i wish i could do something to help you, comfort you, and ease some of your pain

always,
steph

[Lyn Anderson]

thank you. Yes, this is an intensely personal piece. To any person who has lived through spousal abuse, the hardest part is forgiving herself for staying longer than she should have.

[highonwords]

hugs, kl, hugs

always,
steph