Bats in the basement

for MomzillaNC's challenge, boiling a plagiarist in Bat Guano ...

The man opened the door to the basement. He dragged an unconscious woman across the room. She looked to be in her fifties, with short cropped perfectly coiffed white hair. Normally, not a hair nor stitch would be out of place, but today, she was particularly disheveled. Her eyes fluttered open as he propped her up in a chair, securing her arms and legs with sturdy cotton ropes.

She felt too weak to struggle against the restraints ‎. A survey of the room through a veil of blood and a puffy eye revealed several other chairs, each with people in them, tied to them in a similar fashion to herself. To her horror, a couple of them were moving, but not of their own volition, rather they were teeming with maggots. 

‎She felt her gorge rise, but fought the urge to vomit. She wasn't going to give this sick pig the satisfaction. Where the hell was he? The dark, basement made her lose all sense of time and space. She drifted in and out of consciousness ...‎

The woman snapped to attention, along with the others who were able to, when the lights were turned on. A man stood at the centre of the tied captives in their chairs. 

"Listen up, people, we've been found out. I need to know what each of you said or did to alert those meddling interlopers at the cafe'."

It had to be one of them, he thought. How else did people find out about the stolen poems?

The devil had a vague familiarity about him, Mary thought. A former colleague maybe? 

 

"The first to fall was you," he pointed at the disgusting, putrefying mass in the chair, "Tomatoe, potatoe, cockroache, no one bought ‎ your teacher bit, Ms Timmins..."

Something clicked in the woman's brain. Anne, lovely Anne? From Montreal? Oh, this was bad. 

The man who went by the name of Chris, his last name was something funny, Valiant? No, it was something like that but it ended in court, kicked each chair, one by one. Some of the people groaned. Many of them were past making noise.

Last he came to her. "Mary, dear Mary. You will be the last to go."

Why did he want to do this? He loved us all, did he not? 

Chris stomped about the room. The smell of them made him sick. His special friends. Blake, barely conscious, was too tired to struggle against the ropes. The other Mary, and the two he knew as Sometimesblood, and Wandering Minstrel, were long past caring. They were worm food.

Patrick looked at him pleadingly. Jon, oh, he had fought hard, was still glaring daggers at him.

How dare he? I am God, I am the creator, he thought, as he took the knife and began cutting. He couldn't tell who the screams were coming from anymore. He felt the blood dripping down his arms, and he immersed himself in hot bleachy water in the downstairs bathroom tub. Things were foggy -- I need to take care of Mary, he thought, close her account for good...

Excerpt from the Windsor Gazette, December 13, 2014:

Police outside Windsor Ontario, responding to complaints of smells and strange activity in a home in a quiet neighbourhood last ‎week, made a grisly discovery. 

A man's body, yet to be identified, was found in a basement in a small bungalow.

The circumstances remain under investigation. There are unconfirmed reports of chairs in a circle said to be placed in a ritualistic like fashion, prompting rumours of occult connections to the case.

Whether it be a bizarre coincidence or linked to the death, the police called a pest control company in to safely trap thousands of bats that had infested the bungalow. The amount of bat guano meant the scene was a virtual petri dish, especially since the heat had been turned to over 26 degrees C, presumably due to the recent cold snap.

While the death is considered to be suspicious, police declined to comment as to why they are not looking for any suspects, only that the case does not appear to be a homicide... 

Author's Note

okay people, it's fiction, and it's for a contest, I am really not this sick.:)
I thought of the movie Identity www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIfcdg7etE0

Reviews

[Neville]

Script = Superb

Casting = Couldn't be better

Outcome = Ouch

[Bright Ocean Star]

1................................

[blue angel]

Horror at its finest! I had to reread the starting dialog but once I got the characters voices straight it was an intriguing read. I like how you left us guessing at the details in the end, and also the news report. A great psychological thriller. They were truly victims beyond the literary realm. Mary served up some needed justice. At least that's what I gathered. I'd like to have seen her in action, but the word restriction I'm sure hindered your hand a bit. Anyway, it was a great fictional read even though I think you gave him too much power. :) Good luck in the contest! Respectfully, blue angel

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you for the review. the inspiration, aside from the person who had all the ids in here, was every movie I have ever scene about multiple personalities.

[blue angel]

And rightfully so! I much enjoyed it. It was truly my pleasure to see the effect in this light. Respectfully, blue angel

[Tate Morgan]

that was funny but I doubt he will go away for good we will see him again

[Lyn Anderson]

Thanks for reading.

[Tate Morgan]

He is going to be here again Im sure and probably already is

[MomzillaNC]

Whoa! Methinks this might be a bit over the edge! Hope it haunts his nightmares!

[Lyn Anderson]

I told you. You see, both Rene and I read his profiles, and the things he said, or stole, and some of it was very dark indeed, including the stuff about cutting and bleach.

[MomzillaNC]

Well done. Post it to the contest.

[Lyn Anderson]

Hilarious. I forgot that step.:)

[MomzillaNC]

LOL ;D

[Lyn Anderson]

Hmmm, I opted not to, since it is a story, and if Music Mania's doesn't qualify neither does mine. I can think on a poem.

[MomzillaNC]

There are three categories to win. There will be a winner in short stories. A winner in essays. AND as winner in Poems. Post it, please.

[Lyn Anderson]

Oh, okay, I just misread when I went to the page then.

[MomzillaNC]

I'll see if I can make it clearer.

[MomzillaNC]

I expanded the directions and commentary on the contest. Hope the intent and the rules and categories are clearer. The URL is http://www.writerscafe.org/contests/Boiled-In-Bat-Guano/50802/

I also hope new commentary on this post will drive more readers to it your entry. I've been commenting on all the entries today to try to peak interest.

[Woody]

6.........

[R Smith]

1.....................

[Fran Marie]

1**********

[NoelHC]

1..............

[realmwriter]

.........3

[Bright Ocean Star]

I vote 1! :)

[MomzillaNC]

You guys are killing me! I just can’t decide on the short story! AAAAAARRRRRRRG!

[MomzillaNC]

Would you be horribly offended if it was a three-way tie between you and the other two short story finalists?

[Bright Ocean Star]

I wouldn't be offended at all. :)

[MomzillaNC]

Cool. If KL’s okay with it, I’ll do that then. The other author is cool with it. I had more short stories than other entries and narrowed it to three. They’re all great stories. One is better technical writing. One of the stories is hilarious. One is a great horror story. I just can’t decide between them!

[Lyn Anderson]

Totally fine with me. Noel told me as I haven't been around.

[MomzillaNC]

Cool. I’ll message the three of you soon.

[MomzillaNC]

Well done, KL. You are one of the winners in the 3-way tie for the short story category of the contest.

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you.

[MomzillaNC]

yw :D

[therisa]

Loved your placement of the false newspaper article, at the end, KL, giving your short story, a sense of realism, to the reader. Personally, I could see, this happening, in Ottawa, but Windsor, hasn't this city suffered enough, with the big 3? Thought, this short story could have expressed more than you have, in the first half, with the devil, but realize, you have to keep the violence down, to get it's rated PG, for everyone to read. I know, in my entry, have let my angry go, and the poor troll gets flambé. Just hope, its edible, for all of you carnivores, out there. Good luck, KL, in the contest.

[Lyn Anderson]

Well, he purports to be from Windsor. Who knows if that is even true.

[therisa]

Take that with a grain of salt, when you sample my flambé Troll.

[Bright Ocean Star]

This is well written and well developed. Dark and gruesome, as well. The news clipping on the bottom was a stroke of brilliance. I really thought for a moment it may have been real. You write believable journalism articles. I didn't realize he was so close to you, geographically, that is. The maggots creeped me out, but it was very believable. There are so many twisted people in the world. It took me a second to figure out where you were going with this. Great suspenseful writing.

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you, it was interesting. I felt it a little dark, and I was a little reluctant, but the muse dragged me along. Despite everything, it truly is a sad tale.

[Rene Salinas]

I would have to be un - emotional here as I'm also a participant on the contest:

In terms of "concept" it's developed and suggestive. By this I mean that the characters , well - namely one with many forms has held ransom. That would then fall under thriller with tension and the inherent possibility that something really bad would happen. Given the time constraints and the fact that there aren't so many words I think that idea behind it comes out clearly and strongly.

In terms of "structure" is a fluent and a rapid - read with the distinct bridge createad at the end to induce thought by clearly differentiating formatting as a way of induced thought sequence jump. Also story time line manipulation as one cannot be certain as to when and how the two come together.

In terms of characters, this to me the most significant aspect as there is only one but the question may be thrown out, Does he know he is only one? So in essence very manies with not much going on other than pretense and deceit.

Finally in terms of dialogue with the readers and here KL is probably one of the writers who has had more contact with all the developments, the apparent view that in this site and indeed on others as well we would stand quietly and be trampled all over by lies and the anti - writer attitude.

I think if the story's dialogue is clear is that KL thinks not and I do not either.

Good luck.

Very creative.

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you, no, it is a jumbled mess, and quite frankly, I don't think the lead character is a hundred percent sure he is the only one.

[NoelHC]

Macabre, ma'am, and well done! I can just see him, like Bogart as Lt. Cmdr Queeg in The Caine Mutiny, as he lose his marbles.

[Lyn Anderson]

Yeah, it was kind of dark, but since the rest of you took it to a higher level, I figured this wouldn't be too unacceptable.:)

[Matching Socks]

I am so creeped out now. Well done.
I wrote one too. It's called Nuts.
Is your RR working? I'll try...
Wow, that was good. My heart dropped at the news clip. I don't know why but I thought for a split second it was real. Before I read all of it. That's some good guano...

[Lyn Anderson]

I think it's a little too close to home for us Canadians. How close was I to telling this person who I really am? Thank goodness we didn't meet him for coffee ...

[Matching Socks]

Exactly, ugh. I feel itchy all over just thinking about it.