elated.

a curtal sonnet (before I learned iambic pentameter -- I will probably have to fix it sometime)

less than what she wants and more than she can,
                 she lives within the walls she alone created,
                            no luxuries of sweet softness did she abide.

the more love chased her, the more she ran,
                           hollowed out inside her lonely heart debated,
                                     lest history repeat itself she chose to hide.

still secret hopes for what may never be
              gather where kisses cannot be confiscated.
                         knowing that somewhere deep her feelings were free,

                                   for her, elated.

Author's Note

The curtal sonnet is a form invented by Gerard Manley Hopkins
It is a ten-and-a-half-line) sonnet, but rather than the first
eleven lines of a standard sonnet it consists of precisely ¾
of the structure of a Petrarchan sonnet shrunk proportionally.
The octave of a sonnet becomes a sestet and the sestet
a quatrain plus an additional "tail piece." That is, the first
eight lines of a sonnet are translated into the first six lines
of a curtal sonnet and the last six lines of a sonnet are
translated into the last four and a half lines of a curtal sonnet.
The last line is a half line. Like a Petrarchan sonnet, the first
portion is a problem, the last a solution.

I liked it, because it is a little off kilter for a sonnet.

(information on sonnet forms can be found at www.sonnets.org/basicforms.htm or www.poets.org/poetsorg/text/poetic-form-sonnet or Wikipedia

Reviews

[AprilRN1210]

first line is my favorite.. kept coming back to it.. you have managed to keep it affecting and meaningful with strict form.. well done ma'am.. your talented pen never ceases to amaze me..

[Lyn Anderson]

Aww, thanks for the compliment. I am trying to stretch my horizons. For those who live in boxes they refuse to get out of, I am attempting to hop in and out of boxes as I please.

[Rene Salinas]

Thw wise old owl.... the form seems to accentuate the intention behind this lines. You cannot trap that which has no matter so silly would be to even consider to entrapt. So is the sensation behind this feeling as if there is nothing that would be able to contain the nature of this emotions, observe then and see where it may take you.

Thankyou

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you, I shall investigate this forthwith.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

This is an accomplished piece that many of us can relate to and the ending is such a 'hopeful' one or may indicate a raised and elated mood. Like Jon i have never studied poetic form or English language but I have found seeking new forms fulfilling and you have mastered this one,

[Lyn Anderson]

Yes, to be truthful there are very few forms I know -- certainly none by heart -- I like this one because it blends elements of traditional with non, and it is a precise mathematical way of looking at words. I am an ocd numbers counter so it worked well for me.

[Jan Drei]

The stanzas are limited but you composed it all in a single word we call elated.

[Lyn Anderson]

The stanzas are of course, dictated by the form, the rest is the muse.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you did this form really well...

and i have felt this...i have lived behind walls i created...maybe with a little help...
but i think the running and hiding, that is on us.

[Lyn Anderson]

I think, in this one, I found a form I can live with, allowing for a little more freedom inside the precise mathematics.

[Jon Roggie]

I will be honest.
I barely know the various styles, or patterns, of poetry.
I just know when I like the flow of the words,
be it reading, or writing.

I liked this one.

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you, yes, I do not know them. I look them up, and find a way to work with them.

[Jon Roggie]

Too much effort, my friend. I'll just stumble into them when I happen to!

[MsJewel]

This is the perfect form for your words...beautifully constructed without compromizing the content of your poem. One for my library!

:) Julie

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you, I wanted you to read this one since I find you so accomplished at formats.:)

[MsJewel]

Thanks so much. I don't know how accomplished I am, but I do like the challenge of trying new forms. I've been trying this one for a few days now and can't seem to get the hang of it... :)

[NoelHC]

I don't know all the rules and regulations of sonnet form, but this seems to fit them.
It is also a very good write, in and of itself.

[Lyn Anderson]

Well, if it's a sort of kind of modified sonnet form -- but the form was pilfered directly from Hopkins own poem, so hopefully it passes.:)