Heroes aren't always lauded

repercussions of decisions made in the past

A kitchen table discussion.
Remembrance day weekend, 1994.

"They think she is a hero," she said,
with venom unbecoming
the polite housewife
I thought her to be.

"She is," her daughter said simply.
"A medal won't bring back the dead,"
her mother spat,
with a shake of her perfectly coiffed head.

And all over the world,
people sat down to meals
that would not have been served,
save for one Dutch woman's courage.

Author's Note

A college friend of mine invited me for dinner at her home. The conversation turned to the elderly grandmother, whose entire family was wiped out for harbouring Jewish people in WWII. They saved hundreds, which in turn would translate into thousands of people alive today. She was awarded several medals from the Dutch, Canadian, and Israeli governments before she died. I was in awe of her. Her daughter, my friend's mother, on the other hand, was bitter, and felt the family should have just turned a blind eye to the Jewish people's plight. It was an odd moment for me.

Reviews

[Rita L. Sev]

According to the Talmud, "He who saves one life saves the entire world." This is an incredible story, and you share this meeting of world history with your own brilliantly, KL.

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you. Yes, it is something many people risked their lives for because "it was right" -- that's all she said.

[Matching Socks]

Wow, high impact scene.
I'm so amazed by the stories I hear. The courage, people who are 'average' rising above to become more than anyone could imagine.

[Lyn Anderson]

Yes. One of the most amazing real life stories I have encountered.:)

[Matching Socks]

Incredible, my grandmother passed away recently, 97 years old.
She had some unbelievable stories.

[Pryde Foltz]

Wow … my thoughts turn to the ethics of this women who would have so much scorn for the grandmother who sacrificed her whole family for the good of much, much more. Was there some validity to your friend's mother's stance. The question might come down to how the grandmother's family felt about being sacrificed. Although I thoroughly admire the courage and the sacrifice her family made … it points to the inconsistencies of our ethical stances or more to the point our opinions. If we downscaled the example a little … and let's say it is a women who feeds the hungry children of others but allows her own children to starve to death. Would she be lauded? An ethical minefield here, KL. Great penning.

[Lyn Anderson]

Well, I don't think it's quite the same thing, but I do understand your point. Since one could share without turning a blind eye, but in this case turning a blind eye meant certain death for many many people. No one in her family shared her viewpoint, so I would say generally the entire family save one felt the grandmother a hero.

[MsJewel]

Your words are so powerful. It impresses me how you can pack so much power and emotion in a few verses. You have an incredible talent - and this is an incredible poem.

Julie

[Lyn Anderson]

Wow. Thank you I appreciate the review and the compliment.

[Neville]

Strewth. Point well and truly made and thank you for drawing attention to what is essentially a schism in either perception or values, or............................................. maybe even both.

1994 was a good year for certain wine, not so good for others. It marks my daughters 2nd birthday but was
a b***h for many others.....N

[Lyn Anderson]

Yes, it was a year of a lot of change for me. Thank you.

[therisa]

As a child of Dutch heritage, am reminded of the small things, which ordinary Dutch citizens did, during WWII. Supporting the Resistance or hiding people, while placing their own families, at risk. Was told stories, of German soldiers searching my opa's farm, looking for anything that might be helping, the Allies, by my own dad.

I pity your friend's mother, for her narrow view, towards her own mom's action. May she find peace with her mom, in the next world.

[Lyn Anderson]

For sure. I hope so too.

[h d e rushin]

the great rabbi Hillel once said when he saw a human skull floating on the water, "because
you drowned someone you were drowned". He meant it literally but the statement has
profound metaphorical implications. The brave are those who work to save a life not just
spare one. The great Jewish poet Yehuda Amichai once wrote that modern poetry
must confront and reflect contemporary issues.

it just must.....

dana

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you for taking the time. I appreciate it.

[Bright Ocean Star]

She is a hero. But, there's no understanding the stress that heroism put on her family. Her daughter is a product of the environment she grew up in. She didn't have the perspective of age to see the good outweighed the risks. She just saw the consequences of those risks, and to a little girl, they may have been enormous. This is a fascinating look at historical reality. Thank you for writing this one, KL. My son is currently reading a book in his English class about a jewish boy who is rescued from Nazi Germany, and moves to the United States during World War II. That was such a terrible time in our history. It caused families to choose to open their hearts and homes to save the persecuted jewish people, or to insulate themselves to avoid trouble with the law, and turn their backs on their duty as Christians.

[Lyn Anderson]

Yes, you are right, of course. It was a shocking thing to me. The old, frail woman, who understood that what her family did was "right" despite all they lost, and her daughter, born long after, when her mother was older, who felt resentful for losing a family she never knew. However, I don't know how one would ever live with the decision to not help.

[Bright Ocean Star]

You're right. In the end, you have to live with yourself, and hopefully never come to regret your actions. Thank you for sharing this one with us. It must have been surreal to sit in that kitchen and feel/understand the twisted dimensions of each human experience. I can't understand turning my back on someone in need...but then I haven't been put to the test yet.

[Lyn Anderson]

I often shudder. Once the ovens were going, and everyone knew, turning a blind eye. Holocaust deniers drive me insane. Today's politics do not negate those horrors.

[Delmar Cooper]

Yet, we all participate in the sacrifice of others and grief is rain that wets all; those who pity, those who distain, all are equally wet.

[Lyn Anderson]

I suppose. But I know, those who do what's right can more easily live with the wet.

[Rene Salinas]

Well I have confessed that this journey for me is a new one. Although the masses here we just celebrate this day without questioning similarly when the Queen comes around one just ends up drinking at some pub or having a big meal but really no thought goes into it. My way always to read and to see real experiences. I have been more then surprised by the effects of war upon the soldiers. It is a form of sacrifice and in my view should be upheld with respect. Which doesn't mean that you are supporting killing which seems to be the contentious aspect.

Thankyou

[Lyn Anderson]

I think so. For some reason, I am a peaceable person, who would love to see no war. But indeed, there are evils in the world that required great sacrifice to dispel. If every single person had been willing to stand up, then soldiers would never have to stand up for them.