the bad kind of butterflies

passing thoughts in the rush of chaotic tears

thoughts
fizzle
chisel
at the inside
of something ...

butterflies (not the nice kind)
dare me to hold back
the urge
to purge
the material of my day.

unhealthy coping
mechanisms
feel like home
as I fight the
wall and it
doesn't argue
with my bluing fist

pounding heart
and aching mind
give rise
to dark
and brooding thoughts

the tears
the fears
I can no longer
be sure
if I am still sane.

when all is lost
what is left to gain?

Author's Note

Reviews

[icelandicblue]

I know that question but have no answer. Yet here we are trying to make sense of it all. The bad kind of butterflies, anxiety and pain, have taken root and it is so difficult to get them to fly away, even if it's for a short time. They take their toll and then some. I truly felt this one.

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you. I know you have them too.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

A wonderfully expressed poem which is brutal honest about the 'condition black'

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you very much. That means a lot coming from you.

[Matching Socks]

Anxiety maybe?
:-(
What can I say... You're tough as nails, sweet as candy. Great combo.

[Lyn Anderson]

Yes. Anxiety and depression. Never let them beat me yet. :)

[Benita-Staebell M - Kin..]

the urge
to purge
the material of my day.




I loved this stanza's so beautiful like a
light in the darkness purge meaning Cleansing
I love it.



I hope all is well with you on this beautiful
Saturday Afternoon my friend.



Sounds like she's talking to the devil
or a hurtful flame that was in her life in this
song too dark for me LOL... but goes great with
the emotions shown here in this piece!


Thank you for sharing this wonderful
piece. Have a blessed weekend. Benita

[Lyn Anderson]

It is very much a depression poem, so yes, I guess that is kind of talking to the devil now isn't it?

[Benita-Staebell M - KindredPoet]

negative part when he puts the thoughts of fear and doubt into
our mind so at times it is scary place to be I have moments where I have to ask for gods help when I get anxiety only in hospitals and around crowds of people kind of feel like the fear is choking you prayer said in my heart it goes away but you're right indeed he will feed on that and make us feel even worst as fear and anything Negative is of him God is Good but we all experience's it. I hope you're well :) when I feel that way I think of this scripture and it stops 2Timothy1:7 For god hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. my favorite scripture. Stay safe and hope you're having a blessed weekend. Benita

[Pryde Foltz]

when all is lost
what is left to gain?

A personal write and for me too … when I got to this point is when I learned to gain myself … the outside world is ever changeable … you can love and you can enjoy it … but the only thing you will truly possess cannot be grasped by the hand. The craft in this piece was first call btw.

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you so much. I really just had to purge it.

[sharonlee]

Oh so feeling this right now been a few weeks of what feels like 'fighting the wall' with it not giving me the satisfaction of arguing back.

I'm not much of a fighter or arguer really... but your worlds here describe my frustration to a T.

[Lyn Anderson]

Me neither. Conflict avoider by nature. But going through some really intense emotional times. Thank you.

[sharonlee]

My pleasure.