EEEK! a Sonnet

I am not big on form poetry, but I think a playful Hallowe'en sonnet is just the ticket.

It's the time of year when people delight,
in ghastly ghouls, goblins, ghosts and boorish beasts,
devils rock sabats and cannibal feasts,
Hallowe'en witches play games in the night,
reach under the table, something may bite,
wolves howl high and owls scream their eerie cries,
skeletons walk, staring through vacant eyes,
spectres celebrating a secret rite,
girlie boys who get all scared and weepy,
they're the kind of people who make me snore,
I think they are ultimately such a bore,
fearing monsters green and slightly creepy --
things that slither and slime should be aware,
I love to eat all things that bump and scare!

Author's Note

sabat -- demon ritual (also sabbat) spectre -- evil spook
I rewrote it to conform to the structure and syllables -- thanks for the help - since 2016 learning iambic pentametre correctly, I have not examined for perfect pentamentre -- I at least am happy I didn't end them all trochaic -- I guess the subject matter helped. I may revisit at a later date to make sure it conforms to form

Reviews

[Delmar Cooper]

Nice to coax a rhyme out of you. Will we have to wait for Arbor Day to get another?

[Lyn Anderson]

ha ha I rhyme all the time, just don't follow the rules too well. But no, I have resolved to challenge myself to at least one form poem per week. :)

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Woah is someone being brave, or just a bit feisty. Either way this is quite a fun sonnet for sure…. by the way they taste a lot better with a little bbq sauce.

[Lyn Anderson]

ha ha thanks, yes, I have decided to try and do at least one form poem per week. I thought fun was better cause I find it hard to put my feelings in a set package.

[Jackson H. Harley]

Love this, not a big fan of hollowe'en but I found this rather entertaining, great piece :)

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you for me it was a fun thing to do with a sonnet.

[Benita-Staebell M - Kin..]

that is different from the Jewish Shabbat right did you mean?


You're meaning like the other one I for get but there's
another thing one's Celebrate on Halloween I don't do it too
much I love the Candy though and the crisp weather and lovely
colorful leafs and pumpkin pie HA...HA



But nice work here my friend looked like
you were trying to do a Horror poem or just a bit
Slimy makes me think of the Slimy Green ghost off
of Ghost busters :)



Thank you for sharing this was quite
interesting indeed my friend.

Blessings. Benita

[Lyn Anderson]

Yes not sabbath. A Sabat is a demonic ritual. Look, I am Catholic. I have fun with Hallowe'en and make fun of the devil. I know that bothers some fundamentalists, but it is not intended that way

[Benita-Staebell M - KindredPoet]

I understand I was just asking my Grandpa was Catholic but I always got bad feelings from Catholic churches I was Raised Christian I was just asking it is fine :) na it's cool many feel Halloween is the devils day and it is to me as many bad things have always happened on that day at least they do in my neighborhood LOL... thankfully not to us but just really weird and not normal things go on if you get me EKK...

[redzone]

EEEEK it's HALLOWEEN!!!! Let the DEAD live and do the MASH!!!! Holy Crypt Kickers batwoman, KL has written a sonnet... OHMY!!! and for your added enjoyment KL here is the link to Bobby Boris Picket's "Monster Mash"... http://youtu.be/-tHyRQOdqf0..

Are we having fun yet??? HA!!! HELL YES!!!!
~~redzone

[Lyn Anderson]

Its a graveyard smash

[Lydia Shutter]

Giggling here. Want to do the Monster Mash at the Café? :) Do those things that bump and scare give you indigestion? LOL Delightful stuff here. Lydi**

[Lyn Anderson]

Oh the toil of a sonnet. Thanks

[jacob erin-cilberto]

ghoulishly delightful!-----

"whatever happened to my transylvannia twist?

[Lyn Anderson]

Thanks I can't say this sort of thing comes naturally to me. But I am endeavouring to expand my horizons.

[redzone]

Hey Jacob, KL needs to listen to Boris Picket's Monster Mash... it was a grave yard bash!!! then she may find your "transylvannia twist"... Rob Zombie is a bit "predictable"... lol Med thinks all these walking dead tv shows have twisted our minds into sonnets.... ohmy!!!

[Lyn Anderson]

Ha ha but I love Rob zombie! Monster mash. I remember dancing to that when I was six.

[Rene Salinas]

I love the celebration of the death. I know that again we have managed to make it into a comercial thing and the associations all wrong in fact I was told that this year "I want to be slender Man" which made me look into it. Slender Man? How is skinny something that should bring fear? Anyhow I feel compelled to also share that Mom being a devoted Catholic used to take me to the Benedictines monastery for the proper celebration of All Saints and All souls day for those who want to find out a litle more on the subject.

Thankyou

[Lyn Anderson]

No problem, this was something I thought I could believably put into a sonnet. My regular subjects I just couldn't cram them into a mould. Now, as to the Catholic thing, I am too, and funny enough we used to dress up as witches and goblins in Catholic school, but now in public school a lot of kids can't even dress up.

[Pryde Foltz]

I think they are ultimately such a bore,
fearing monsters green and slightly creepy --
things that slither and should slime be aware,
I love to eat all things that bump and scare!

Yum … yum. Love it:)

[Lyn Anderson]

Thanks, it was work, but I exercised my patience muscles and got something down I could live with. I guess I am just way too used to writing a poem in 5 min or less, and anything longer hurts my head. But I will endeavour to set a goal of one or two form poems per week.

[Pryde Foltz]

You go girl … you are more ambitious than me on that front.

[Mazie]

Very nice, October as always been one of my favourite months because of halloween.
Some constructive criticism, as a sonnet writer myself, I know how hard it can be to stick with the form and get all the syllables right! The syllables and the rhythm of it change a bit in this piece. That will come with practice, just look out for that (I've been guilty of it too!) For example," in ghouls, goblins, ghosts and beasts," is short of syllables compared to the usual 10 syllable lines. The stanzas/quartets are great, but the bottom one is just reversed. With this style you chose, it is ABBA style, but in the end it changes to the Shakespearean style (which is what I normally do) ABAB. Again, really nice, festive poem :) I think you did a good job with the content, just offering some structural comments to help it, but It's hard to get these particular ones right structurally!

[Lyn Anderson]

I literally followed line by line an example, so perhaps the example I was following was written incorrectly as far as the structure. Yes, I know, I have no patience for counting the syllables.

[Lyn Anderson]

I will work on it some more, thanks for the help. I really am not patient with these things, I admit it.:)

[Mazie]

np :) I merely mean them as friendly helpers! It is a hard type of writing to get, but once you do, it is fun to write ^^ still a great poem :)

[Lyn Anderson]

I really do appreciate it. I think I got it better now. The counting syllables was not as confusing as the structure for me. I am a person who learns by example, not by formula, so I have to look at a poem, and how it is structured, and translate it to my own poem. It is a flip back and forth and check thing. Generally, I do metre and rhyme by feel and not by precision, balancing out the lines by their feel as I say them. Most times, when people comment that it has a rhyming feel without being rhyming, it is not a truly conscious effort on my part. I think that is why I struggle with formats because I am not an editor, re-editor kind of writer. I always feel it comes off forced when I am done, and mostly stay away from them. But it is a challenge, and I enjoy a challenge, so thank you, truly.