It's part of my personality, you said.

I can't be very fair or objective about this, I just can't

"S**t or get off the pot,"
you finally did,
but it was
too late
for us.

"It's part of my personality,"
you said,
your friend
the famed
Mary Jane.

Everybody thinks
she's so
harmless,
but they didn't know her
like I did.

You stole
from your mama
and you stole from me
you even stole
from your babies --

Your anger
ate at every part of you
that used to be
leaving holes in the walls
and in my heart --

The sickness
filled you
consumed you
became you,
until you were gone.

You tried
to come back,
but you were
broken,
uncommunicative.

You quit,
but nothing
was ever the same,
thanks in part
to a b***h named Mary Jane.

Author's Note

I know pot advocates believe it's harmless. It isn't, in all cases, especially with
certain mental illnesses, it can cause psychosis & cyclic vomiting, I know, I lived it.

Reviews

[Ted Kniffen]

You're right on with this one, Lyn. As a fellow Canuck I am concerned with the direction our 'illustrious' leaders are taking us. This mad dash toward our 'rights' will create chaos and divisiveness, but maybe that's the plan. Give the minority what they want and keep the 'silent majority' on their heels. Shout down anyone with an opposing opinion until they give up.

Trouble is...it seems to be working.

Good to have you back.

[Einstein Noodle]

hear hear says i! i could not agree more with your position on the subject ..not harmless...not in a million years ...absolutely jolts mental, emotional illness ..absolutely a gateway drug, absolutely harmful to all economically ..so saddened its use affected your life in such a way ... tho i recognize a few instances (with certain cancers and seizure disorders) it is a boon ... otherwise i only see negative consequences to its use ...
E

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you. The debate rages on. Pot will be legal here in Canada. The carnage will continue as long as advocates refuse to acknowledge the downsides.

[caesarkreshen]

haha so much misdirected aggression toward 'pot users' in these reviews.

I would say, yeah, it's bad. It's worse than many people think. The drug itself may not be damaging but hypoxia, I think, is. And other bodily damage.

Still, people who think weed alters people's personalities, I disagree. I've smoked just as much weed as anyone and I stayed true to my moral code. I think the people who are "altered" could have just not been seen at first.

Thing is: some people choose smoking weed for selfish reasons. Not everyone. Some are more selfish than others. Don't act like everyone who smokes weed is s**t even though it is definitely tragic when certain people damage themselves.

[Lyn Anderson]

I have never said, nor do I believe, that all people who use weed have the same effect as it had on my ex, but you didn't live it, and you have no right to say it doesn't change people. It is a mind altering substance, and it absolutely can rewire a person's brain. It likely has to be a person with a certain mental illness and set of addictive parameters, but it does. There is research from scientists who advocate pot use that caution anyone from using pot if they have schizophrenia. It isn't a belief, it is a fact, and the fact that I can acknowledge that it does not do this to everyone, but you cannot acknowledge that it can, is something I suggest you research a little closer.

[caesarkreshen]

"and you have no right"

^ I guess that's that then. Mum.

[Lyn Anderson]

I can admit that was poor phrasing. Perhaps I should have said it this way. I drink coffee before I go to bed. That doesn't mean I don't believe you if you say coffee makes you jittery before bed and you can't sleep. Everyone's brain chemistry is different. What I saw happen to my ex, my sister, and two friends who killed themselves, all marijuana users with mental illness, happened. It isn't my imagination. I also have known responsible pot users, as well as drinkers and prescription meds. Everyone has different tolerance levels to all sorts of substances. To extrapolate that because it does not affect you that way, no one is, is naive at best. You do have a right, but not to negate my experience that is real and factual in all regards.

[caesarkreshen]

It's a chicken or egg thing was my point. We all have experience.

[therisa]

KL, I have tried the doctor's way, in dealing with my depression, various anxiety disorders and PTSD, over the past 7 years, and have found myself, in a worse shape, before I started these meds. I am not couraging everyone to use marijuana, but for me, in small doses, which I use as a herb, in my food, has helped me, to live a more normal life. Personally, I hate having to take any medication, but I have no choice, being a diabetic and transitioning. I have no painkillers, or any other drug, beyond what is prescribed to me (ie, alcohol, caffeine, tobacco or illegal drugs), in my apartment.

Those, who self-medicate don't know, when to stop, before doing more harm, than good.

[Lyn Anderson]

As with any drug, marijuana has its risks. I am not opposed to prescriptions and legal sensible usage of any therapy, however, marijuana is far from harmless, especially when used at 8 times the prescribed dose over several years

[therisa]

I agree, but so is, any drug that's abuse. I want marijuana, legallized, so people like your ex, can be monitored and helped off of it. Sadly, governments forget the responsibility they have, when a drug is legalized and no measures exist, to help those, who abuse it.

[therisa]

Too many, within the transcommunity have been lost to drug abuse, as they self-medicate. Anything that can alter a person's mood or personality, must be treated with the upmost care, in how it's handled and used by, anyone. Personally, no one under 20 years old, should be using marijuana, period.

[Lyn Anderson]

I agree, but not all people are suitable for marijuana therapy, my ex was one of them. He had a legal prescription, as do many people who buy prescription drugs after theirs run out. The damage my ex did to himself and his family cannot be undone.

[therisa]

I agree. I wish there was a way, the prescribing doctor can tell, before handing over the slip, how a person may react, to any prescribed drug. I know, in my case, it would have saved me, seven years of experiementation with 8 dfferent anti-depressant/anxiety medication and various cocktails, which has failed. I can't do, the ninth one that my doctor has, as an alternative, for me. Each new drug is, more toxic than the previous ones, for me.

There needs to be, tigher control and follow-up by the prescribing doctors, to catch people, like your ex, KL. Given the current model, being used, by the Federal government, I think more people will be harmed than helped.

[Nusquam Esse]

It is easy to generalize, but the reality is that the stuff effects people in many different ways. Still, I personally detest it, and I avoid things that impair my judgement. I rarely take anything more than an aspirin. Just seen too many people ruin their lives and their minds with drugs, and even the mild ones should be dealt with carefully. If nothing else, I can't see a reason why one should smoke anyway? I drink liquor in small amounts because I like the taste, the complexity of flavor, and the burn and tingle it leaves behind. I don't see anything that pot would offer beyond an 'escape' or 'experience', neither of which seem necessary or interesting to me. Almost everyone I know in my area smokes pot, and it honestly bothers me... they never mention it around me though, because I have never tried to hide my distaste and disdain for it... maybe I am just prudish.

[Lyn Anderson]

More like prudent. I think the big thing is that all people are different, and what one can do without any seeming ill effects another cannot. Everyone knows the 90 year old daily drinker who never missed a day of work in his life and treated his family like gold, doesn't mean that everyone can accomplish that same feat.

[Nusquam Esse]

lol, I thought you said dairy drinker, and was imagining some guy drinking lots of milk, and trying to figure out the context... lactose issues? :P Well, I consume a lot of raw foods that would make most people sick, raw eggs and meat (so long as I know the source; I also stay away from raw pork on principle). In the many years I have done this, not once have I got sick. *shrug* People tell me I got an Iron-Gut; but so long as you don't baby it, and don't deliberately eat soiled stuff, the digestive tract can handle some formidable stuff.

[Lyn Anderson]

Too funny. While I do know a few overzealous vegans who think all dairy is evil, I wouldn't go that far ...:)

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Drugs can alter your personality completely, I have seen it first hand… I don't believe pot effects people, hell I do it sometimes, I blame the harder drugs.

"S**t or get off the pot makes me think of the movie "The Bachelor"

[Lyn Anderson]

My ex never did anything but pot, but he did more in one day than most people do in a year. That is not even an exaggeration.

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Well that is certainly a different story, sorry to hear that.

[Lyn Anderson]

It certainly is. And at that usage level, he resorted to theft and fraud.

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

My sister was on cocaine… she would lie cheat and steal for money to pay for it.

[Coyote Poetry]

I agree. My brothers who committed suicide. Smoke the dope in the morning. Smoked the dope all day and night. Make them scare and afraid of life. Alcohol and drugs. Depression and downers. You are right.
"The sickness
filled you
consumed you
became you,
until you were gone"
Thank you dear friend for the excellent poetry. Made me think this late morning.
Coyote

[Lyn Anderson]

I am so sorry that we have the spectre of suicide in common. I have lost friends and relatives to that monster. Thank you for reading and reviewing. This one was a hard one for me, still dealing with the repercussions, and I get tired of justifying myself to the young ones who think they know better.

[Coyote Poetry]

Each of us are built different. I drank for 20 years. I quit on the spot when I met wife. Drugs, like cigarettes. Hard to quit. It is a dangerous place for many.

[Fran Marie]

pot is a wicked destroyer for many who choose it ..any drug can become a bad addiction
my dad was alcoholic ...it certainly does take its toil on the family, ..well penned piece
on bad vices and addictions..

[Lyn Anderson]

Thanks, I appreciate it. It is emotional for me when these 20 year old kids get up on a high horse and try to tell me how harmless it is. My life of the last nearly 10 years was a living hell in large part due to my ex's insistence that pot was a necessity for him, and that it was a lot better than a lot of things ...

[Fran Marie]

I hear ya..it's all bad whether it be pills, pot, alcohol,etc..and now legalized in Colorado..' destroying itself, it's a crazy world in which we live...

[Baby Ricochet]

There's a house up the road occupied by a family of pot heads who are the biggest pack of losers I've ever seen. I'm talking white trash reality stars here. The house is such a run down piece of crap and the yard is such a disaster I swear it brings the real estate value of the neighborhood down. I've known other people who smoke weed and function as normally as some one having a couple of beers after work would. Some people do well with drugs, some don't and some people can't take baby aspirin without ending up in rehab. I get WAY to groovy if I smoke weed so I never touch the stuff.

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you. You hit the nail on the head. I hate generalizations. I too, know daily users of either drugs or alcohol who function well in society and in their family. Some people can, some people can't. It's the denial factor on the part of the legalization advocates that irks me. Like it should be one big free for all with no rules or warnings.

[Baby Ricochet]

No drug is harmless. Christ, Tylenol can give you liver damage. I'm all for legalizing marijuana but my rationals have more to do with America having the world's highest incarceration rate owing to the epic fail war on drugs and taking a big cash crop away from the cartels. Legalizing weed would harm the cartels far more than stopping the flow, which the war on drugs proved is impossible. Legal weed would mean it could be grown legally by farmers in the US which would take money off the cartel's table. If anyone is against legalizing drugs it's the criminals producing and selling them. They'd all be out of work.

[Nusquam Esse]

^ This has got to be the largest review I have ever seen you leave! 0_o Totally agree with it though.

[David Scott]

Addictions come in many forms...
I am sorry you have lived with such a raw version of it in your life.
The destruction is comprehensive and few ever really make it back from these "explorations"...
Yet there is hope for the soul. I believe there is a power above any addiction and it does not come from our own will.
Yes, distance yourself and protect your family from the effects of such a person and lifestyle, but never give up hope!
BTW... I think you were more than fair here.
Powerful writing KL!

[Lyn Anderson]

Some damage cannot be undone. I can only hope it is not too late for the kids to repair the relationship, because it certainly is for me.