all my best stories

I realized all my funny stories start with, the time I got hit by ... Based on true events, and yes, at least one person was seriously injured in the making of this poem ...

Looking in the mirror, admiring the shine,
If she only had a nickle,
for every time
she got herself in a pickle ...

Cheek's swollen,
face black and blue,
shoulder scraped and oozin'
what's a girl gonna do?

Apply the makeup,
and get ready to explain,
how she got banged up,
yet again.

Just a fact of life, oh my,
on one knee,
pet a puppy,
get a shiner for each eye ...

cross the road,
wasn't far, hit by car,
bruised hip, split lip
jumped on bed, sliced head,
kicked and missed, broke wrist,
super glue, hand to shoe --
never mind Laurel and Hardy,
till she trips, it ain't a party!

Author's Note

if you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?

Reviews

[Lorry]

I'm with Barleygirl on this one KL, although I understand the humour. If you don't laugh, you cry, and when these "accidents" are put on repeat, constantly shuffling from the end to the beginning again, on constant loop, the feeling beyond despair can make hopeless hysteria break through the cracks, cuts and bruises when the mind tells the body it can't take any more, while knowing more will follow. I hope I am wrong, but fear I am not.
Apologies for the delay in reviewing, some reviews come more easily than others.

[Lyn Anderson]

Hey there. Thanks. While I have been open about my difficult relationship, the bruises were nearly always on the inside. I really am a very clumsy person who has encountered many crazy accidents over the years. :)

[Ted Kniffen]

As an old, and I do mean old,, biker who rode enduros, scrambles and motocross as well as road bikes, I can appreciate the constant parade of bangs and bruises. Sometimes abuse is self-inflicted. Good write.

[Lyn Anderson]

Glad you read and reviewed as intended. :)

[barleygirl]

I also read this as "abuse" . . . thinking it was a twisted acerbic commentary on all the excuses a battered woman might need to make in the course of her sad life. But if this is your true story of klutzism, then I'm even more baffled. I thought I was a klutz, but it's more about knocking stuff over & breaking things, rather than destroying myself. Anyhow, it's a good poem with a double meaning & the various TRIP-ups are vividly described to be in our mind's eye.

[Lyn Anderson]

It most definitely could be interprested that way. I really should write a story about the time I super glued a car emblem to my hand and why.

[1VJ]

Disturbing, I read abuse between the lines. Ain't no party.

[Lyn Anderson]

In this case, there really aren't any hidden meanings.:)

[1VJ]

Good to know, so you're just really uncoordinated you klutz. :)

[Lyn Anderson]

Yep. In one week I got a right and left black eye from two different dogs. Too bad my weird odds thing doesn't translate to the lottery.

[Papaya]

Man...
You've got to be more careful.
I'd be laughing harder if part of me didn't recall how many women make stuff like this up to hide abuse but since you're pretty open about that I'll take this at face value and say "slow down"

[Lyn Anderson]

As I have explained to others, this really is a face value poem. what made it more difficult was people knew what I was living with, and always wondered. But no, I am not one to cover with nutty stories.

[Papaya]

Yeah, I took it at face value. I know you've been open about that stuff. Just funny that on top of it all you're a bloody clutz. :)

[Paul Bell]

Only hurts till you cry, after that you don't ask why. Think that's how the song goes.
Though i like the one that goes. I hit him with a baseball bat, he didn't have time to ask why. Which was just as well we didn't see eye to eye.

[Lyn Anderson]

Your comments are a fun bit of rhyme.

[Lydia Shutter]

You certainly have had more than your share of mishaps and unfortunately, I can relate. Love the happy rhyming in this that belies the situations you describe. Be careful out there, KL. Lydi**

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you very much.

[Einstein Noodle]

ahahaha ..you got me truly laughing out loud right now ..oh my!!! yes ..we might just as well celebrate the humor of it all .. i couldn't agree more .. love and peace my friend
E.
ps. and healing :))

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you very much. The time I crazy glued a car emblem to my hand, every time I start to tell that one, I can't get through it before I am laughing so hard I start crying.

[Einstein Noodle]

ahahaha! your a corker dahlink! have come very close to super glueing fingers together ...;}

[redzone]

Kl, Kl, KL.... what are we gonna do with you... wrap you in bubble wrap or some kind of padding??? keep you away from doggies and cyclists??? KL doesn't stand for Kara Lynn, rather its "Klutzy Lamour"... ;0p...

I think you are right, if we can't laugh at ourselves... and I also agree with the many below who said you turn unfortunate events into humor and better yet poetry... and so so so very glad it is klutziness and not something else for these scars... you my friend need padded clothes.. lots of it... might also lead to some adventurous fun for the farmboy to solve... ;0)

redzone

[Lyn Anderson]

Oh, farmboy and I have had our share of clumsy adventures. :)

[aLittlePain]

I'm glad you can laugh babe :) that says to me you're in a good place, it does read as a series of unfortunate comedic events, you've pulled that off really well. A totally different vibe but I laugh at the ridiculous times pre divorce, like the horrendous fight at the airport upon coming home to NZ...lol, they were horrible at the time but so ridiculously funny now. Love ya. R xo

[Lyn Anderson]

Thanks. Truthfully, I am a klutz, which made things even more challenging given my unhealthy relationship. When you really get clobbered in both eyes by two different dogs in the same day, it becomes a mine field of explanation. Most of the scars from my relationship are financial and emotional -- and some day soon I hope to redo the house so the rest of the scars are covered up. I wrote this after I was run off the path by a cyclist while training for a marathon -- I broke my glasses and had a black eye and scraped up shoulder and knee. The b*tch who did it stopped, asked if I needed an ambulance, and rode away. I still ran the marathon a month later.:)

[aLittlePain]

I'm chuckling...sorry ;) get you...you're a trooper alright. I hope she cycled herself into a wall. I hope you get round to the reno KL that will be a great for your spirit.xo